The Whole Picture
by MarlboroLite
Summary: When Alice saw Bella coming, she had only seen glimpse's of the love both herself and Edward would have for her, even with an extradonairy talent like her own, there is only so much she can see and so far that she could look..M from ch 10
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

Bella's POV

_I knew that was the stupidest most reckless thing I'd done yet, but how would I top that? Even now, feeling the intense burn of salt water linger in my throat, the aching of my lungs. I had pushed my whole respiratory system to the limit, the dull throbbing pain of my muscles, only reminded me of my brainless decision, a few hours ago, yet in spite of it all, I could do nothing but think of how peaceful I felt hearing Edwards voice, pained as it was, urging me to swim, to find my way to the surface, insisting that i don't give up and the craving to hear it again._

Turning my head slightly, looking over at Jacob, his large frame towering beside me, his eyes focused on the road, a tinge of guilt hit me_, am I really considering committing a more reckless act, finding something even more destructive to do, am I willing to hurt him, knowing that anything I am to do after cliff diving would have to be extremely more dangerous, possibly fatal, just in order to hear the voice of my prince._

_Jacob had been the light along my path of darkness, keeping me from losing myself completely, not plugging the hole that Edward had left, but creating a space for himself, that I could not possibly live without, if I were to endanger myself again...and end everything, the effect it would have on him, would be devastating, I could not do that to him, could I?_

Jacobs lazy smile had returned to his face, as he steered my truck off of the winding path, and onto the open roads, he quickly slammed his foot onto the acceleration, speeding down the road, well if you could call the 50 miles an hour that my truck struggled to manage speeding._ Would i let him suffer, leave him with a hole identical to my own, etched into his open heart, remove that infectious boyish grin from his face? And Charlie, could I do such a horrible thing to my own father, as if it weren't enough that one of his closest friends had just passed away, and Renee, my mom, she sent me to Forks, hesitant to do so, giving in after i had insisted that i would be fine, putting her happiness above my own, she struggled enough without having to deal with her only daughter's death, all of the hurt and devastation I would leave behind, for a few moments of Edwards voice_.

Jacob's huge foot slammed down the break, making a loud crunching noise, causing me to snap out of my thoughts, "Jacob what's wrong?" I asked, "One of them, is here", I looked through the windshield, seeing that we had arrived at my house, but he had stopped the truck a few feet away from the drive way. "Who is here Jacob?" I asked, a confused expression painted on my face, he was shaking now, his large body trembling from head to toe, his face disgruntled, as he hesitated to answer "A Vampire." he spit out.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Bella's POV

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I can smell it, I just...I can't smell who though, so we have to go. Now." He replied, and with that he threw the truck into reverse, the tires screeching as he directed it backwards, his foot crushing the gas pedal with full force, I'd barely any time to look at the house when I noticed, that car _Carlisle? Wait, why would he? He can't be back... he is, he's back, they're back._ "Stop....STOP THE CAR, RIGHT NOW!", Jacob turned to look at me "Bella, are you crazy, there is a vampire in your house I have to get you out of here, we don't know even who it is-"

"Its Carlisle, that is Carlisle's car, I recognise it, we have to go back"

"Bella, no, how do we know it's not a trick?" he looked at me his expression angry but puzzled, "It's not, it's Carlisle, I know his car, Carlisle wouldn't hurt me" I replied in a reassuring tone.

He was still visibly angry, his hands wrapped around the steering wheel, gripping them with such force, his knuckles had turned white with pressure, his body quivering, he gave me a look, titling his head forward and gesturing with a small nod, a signal of his compliance. Pushing the truck forward a few feet, he forced the hand brake down, and stopped the car, "No" he said through gritted teeth. "What? What no?" I asked, confused, "No, take yourself back, I can't follow you there, as much as you say he won't hurt you, I'm not going anywhere near that filthy bloodsucker" he replied in a harsh tone, _why was he being this way, of all times to be like this, always thinking of this stupid war,_ "Jacob, just stop being so-"

"I have to go and tell Sam, bye Bella", he turned to get out of the truck, and after only a few bounds, his shape blurred, and he disappeared into darkness.

Reaching across and pulling the handle, I forced the door open and jumped out, my heart thumping at the possibility of my vampires having returned, breathing deeply out of anticipation, still feeling the raw burn in my chest, I began to run forward toward my house, my legs still feeling weak, exhausted after today, my legs faltering as i pounded my sneakers into the ground beneath me, dirt flew wildly under my heavy misplaced skips, _what had I just done to Jacob...I'll have to apologise to him, I'll have to make it up to him, somehow, but they are here, they're back and, It was like someone had died—like I had died. Because it had been more than just losing the truest of true loves, as if that were not enough to kill anyone. It was also losing a whole future, a whole family—the whole life that I'd chosen…and that life was suddenly a possibility again...wait, what had Jacob said to me earlier, "she took off into the water"...Victoria._

Standing directly in front of my door, realisation dawned on me,_ a trap?_ , seeing a light flick on, if it was a trap it is too late now, pushing my key into the door, my hand trembling violently, and nudging it open with my elbow, my eyes scanned the hallway, my eyes meeting a figure standing still...."Alice."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

Alice's Pov.

The front door opened, and that scent hit me, her scent, Bella.

"Alice." She said, a look of shock on her face, her mouth forming the shape of a little _o._

Standing in front of me, _She's alive, Bella is alive, but my vision, this...this doesn't make sense, I have never known my vision's to be wrong when Bella is involved, not once, a little slow perhaps, she hasn't got the most decisive of minds at times but wrong, not at all- Does it matter? Here she is alive, breathing, waiting for me to say something no doubt, her warm chocolate eyes staring intently, scanning my figure, she seems lost, and she looks well she looks dreadful, but wonderful all at the same time, because she isn't dead and I couldn't be more relieved._

Suddenly she throws herself at me, hitting me with what I can only assume is all the force her body can muster, _that must of hurt,_ wrapping her arms around my shoulders, her heated cheek brushing the side of my face, _that warmth I had missed it....I feel my eyes fade to black, the change in my body evident, but I had fed when I arrived, that's odd, it must be the smell, I guess I had forgotten how she smelt, it must be that, but she had not had such an effect on me prior to this, I...she's alive, it's not important_, her breathing unsteady and erratic.

"Alice, oh Alice! It's really you!

I saw Carlisle's car, and I couldn't believe it, but I let myself believe it, I needed to, your back, well I didn't know it would be just you, but I couldn't be happier, and oh Alice-"

"Oh dear, Bella I had forgotten how excitable you could get"

"Sorry, I'm just so so happy to see you Alice" she said, wrapping her arms around me more tightly, my face met her neck dead on; I could feel her shaking, a sob escaping her throat.

_It can't be her smell, having this effect, because I don't recognise it, what is that smell, why didn't I smell it earlier, it's all over her, its repugnant._

"Bella, believe me, I myself am not able to make you even understand fully how happy I am to see you, but, and please do not take offense, but you smell terrible."

Releasing me, slightly from her arms, her face perturbed, "um I do?"

"Yes, quite strongly, I couldn't smell it when you entered, but it's very noticeable when I am this close to your skin" I replied.

"Oh, I uh, I could go shower, I mean if it's that bad, if its "terrible" she proclaimed.

"Yes that would be, no, first of all, most important of all, how are you not dead?"

"You thought that I was dead?!" she exclaimed.

"Well yes, I saw it in a vision, well you weren't dead but you had thrown yourself off of a cliff, so naturally i assumed that you were, and I, well Edward had told me not to look for you, but well I ignored him, I had to check on you quite regularly in fact, in spite of how much I missed you, and how much it pained me to watch you and be nowhere near you and then I saw you jump, and I couldn't just ignore it so I came as soon as I could and well-"

"Alice, I get it, you saw me jump, and you call me excitable, geez" she rolled her eyes in mid sentence.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself, which is obviously what you had thought...S_he wasn't, thank god, but if not, then what on earth was she thinking?, _I had been hanging out with Jacob which obviously you must of seen, because you were watching me, _Jacob...who?_ and I saw some of his friends cliff diving and I thought it looked like something that I'd like to try, so I did and well I'm here right now hugging you so you know I didn't die, and oh by the way sorry I haven't let go of you, and please please please do not go Alice, I'm begging you!"

"Okay, I'm not going to go, I couldn't leave you, not now. I knew when I came that I was too late because in the vision I never saw you surface, but I wanted to help in any way possible with the...arrangements, but now I'm here and your alive, well do you really think I would leave you? I will stay if only for a short while, _a short while? No longer, I need to be here longer, I think, yes I do, definitely,_ or for as long as you want me here, okay Bells I'm not going to go anywhere" I said, drawing a breath after the very long sentence, even if I don't need to.

Looking up at her, dry trails streaked across her face heart shaped face, where she had been sobbing, and flashing a slight smile, she simply nodded in reply, staring at me intently, removing her arms,

" I'm going to go and take a shower, because if you're not leaving, then I want to be close to you, without you being disgusted" she said, a small smile forming on her lips, and with that, she turned running up the stairs, leaving me standing in the same spot I had found her.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Alice's POV

_I remember the first time I had seen Bella, well in person not in my visions, I had waited in anticipation of her arrival just as my brother had, once I informed him of what was to come, but I hadn't quite expected to be so...well infatuated when I saw her in person, sitting at a table glaring over at us, she was quite enchanting_

_I knew that I'd grow to love her, I saw us together in my visions we were happy smiling and exuberant, spending time together, doing the things that human friends would do, only I wasn't human but that certainly didn't seem to have any effect on the way we were with each other._

_My visions had never shown her being uneasy or awkward with me, we were comfortable, she was very rarely scared, whilst most humans kept their distance partially because instinct told them to but mostly by choice, she made the effort to get to know me, to be close, affectionate, to even touch me, without any hesitation, to count me as a friend, her acceptance of me, it had made me love her unconditionally, and this was when I barely knew her._

_I had told Edward prior to meeting her, when he was struggling to make a decision about her, whether he'd the strength to pursue her as his love or to kill her, as temptation became too strong, her blood, resisting it, the hardest challenge he had ever faced._

_"I love her too Edward...I don't know why, but I do" I told him before I had the visions of myself and Bella, and our companionship, the warmth and light she had brought into my life, I had always wanted a friend, I had my family all of whom remembered their own human lives, but I couldn't, I don't know whether I had friends or not, but I knew that in my vampire life, I wanted a friend and Bella Swan, she would be that friend._

_I would love her dearly._

_I remember her birthday party, before the drama, before Edward had made us all leave against my better wishes, I knew deep down that it would do no good, that I couldn't bear to be away from her, my Bella, my best friend, and it may not be important now, but I was right, our families departure, it made her life worse, I watched her making sure she was safe, seeing glimpses of the shell that she had become, watching her complete daily mundane routines out of habit, for the sake of completing them. To the casual observer she was a top grade student, who wasn't very sociable, to those who knew her prior to the fleeing of our family, she was a shell of her former self, the emotion, the love behind her welcoming chocolate eyes had dissipated, leaving a flat uninviting gaze behind._

_I tried not to watch but my concern for her, it was overwhelming, I needed to make sure that she was at least alive and not in danger, and as far as I was aware she wasn't. But that party, I had put a great amount of effort into organising it, I knew she would have her qualms, but I knew she would appreciate just how much effort had gone into it, and eventually she would enjoy it and I could see it, she was awkward yes, but she was not upset that I had thrown her such an extravagant party, and this well it made me overcome with joy, I loved it, until things went so very wrong._

_**Bella took the little package, rolling her eyes at Edward while she stuck her finger under the edge of**_

_**the paper and jerked it under the tape.**_

_**"Shoot," she muttered when the paper sliced her delicate finger; she pulled it out to examine the damage.**_

_**A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.**_

_**It all happened very quickly then.**_

_**"No!" Edward roared.**_

_**He threw himself at Bella, flinging her back across the table.**_

_**It fell, as Bella did, scattering the cake and the presents, the flowers and the plates.**_

_**Bella landed in the mess of shattered crystal.**_

_**Jasper slammed into Edward, and the sound was like the crash of boulders in a rock slide.**_

_**There was another noise, a grisly snarling that seemed to be coming from deep in Jasper's Chest.**_

_**Jasper tried to shove past Edward, snapping his teeth just inches from Edward's face.**_

_**Emmett grabbed Jasper from behind in the next second, locking him into his massive steel grip, but Jasper struggled on; his wild, empty eyes focused only on her.**_

_Her forearm wore a long gash, her blood pulsing out of it, suddenly every vampire in the room had their eyes firmly fixated on her, her blood singing to us all, temptation flowing out of her in steady streams, she sat on the floor amongst the damage, she looked bewildered, eyes wide like a deer in headlights, she began to piece together what had happened._

_Emmett was restraining Jasper, he was flailing wildly trying to get to Bella , the blood lust he had worked so hard to control was the only thing his primal instincts could recognise._

_Carlisle instructed Emmett and Rosalie to take him outside, Rosalie wore a smug, I told you so expression on her face as they exited, Esme along with them apologising as she did, she was clearly as overwhelmed as the rest of us, by the smell of Bella's oh so appetising blood._

_Yet in this moment it was not Jasper who I was concerned about, it was Bella, was she ok?_

_Would she be safe with Edward next to her, crouched over her defensively as they left the house, would Edward be able to resist the blood that sang to him so powerfully with the strength of a thousand operas._

_I could not bear the thought of Edward losing control in that moment, Bella sitting there vulnerable, I knew she was resilient more so than Edward gave her credit for, the pained expression on her face nothing to do with the huge wound she had on her arm, but because she worried that she had put our family into a position where they had to resist to the best of their abilities, drinking the blood of a human._

_They may have had it under control, their bloodlust, when they were around other humans but they were very rarely around human wounds, this was a true test, only Carlisle was truly unaffected, even I had felt it perhaps more so than the others, i had fed on humans before, I'd slipped up, but Bella was hurt so I did my best to assist Carlisle in making her better, not out of obligation, but out of love._

_I would gladly do as much as possible to resist until I knew that she was safe, and that she was not hurt in any way that was serious, although honestly even the smallest most miniscule amount of damage would still bother me, and after watching for all but a few minutes Edward could no longer handle the scent, and Bella request that he leave but not that I did, so I remained helping Carlisle with whatever I could...why didn't she insist that I leave, and why could I handle it so much better than Edward could, surely it should of been worse for me._

_I was not Bella's "true love", I was her best friend, surely I didn't have the love that Edward had for Bella, our connection, Bella and I, it could not have been as strong, could it?_

_Urging Edward to go I continued, waiting patiently for Carlisle's instructions, the smell it burned my senses, I could taste the particles of her blood in the air, and they entered my throat, and tickled the taste buds on my tongue._

_I could smell it and against my will, my mouth filled with venom, it pooled in my mouth, dripping off on my fangs in great volume, but at that moment there was no force on this earth that would allow me to hurt Bella any further than she had already been hurt but it had become too much, hoping that she wouldn't notice, hoping that she would understand, I left, she would realise that I had only done so because, well because I loved her._

_I loved her she was my friend, best friend, she was my sister in law, well if Edward didn't change his mind on what he had intended on doing, she would be, and so I loved her for all these reasons, but among everything that had unfolded that night, it was not my extended family that I worried about, it was not Jasper, i could of, no should of been the one calming him down outside, i had calmed him in the house, but after that my attentions where focused else where, i would of done a much better job than the others, helping Jasper, but i didn't, it was her that i wanted to help, because, I loved her, her well being was all I could think about, more than anything in the world, more than even myself, bloodlust meant nothing as long as Bella, my Bella was alright, I could be at ease, because I loved her, because I still do, because I'm _in_ love with her. .._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Bella's POV

Feeling better, once I had showered, the hot water cooling the dull ache of my muscles, washing off the salt water smell and relaxing me, I rushed toward my bedroom, finding something comfortable to wear, the pain didn't bother me so much, neither emotional nor physical, when I reminded myself that Alice was downstairs waiting for me, she came here for me.

_Only she came, nobody else, but Alice, my Alice, my best friend, the little vampire who I confided in, the tiny vampire who every time I saw, smiling widely, floating about with the grace of a ballerina, her passion for life un matched by anyone i had met, I couldn't help but smile when I saw her, that infectious air of joy that being in her presence created, her contagious good moods which made me feel better when I needed to, her affectionate embrace that comforted me, the mutual trust we shared, my best friend, my perfect best friend whom I loved, who I trusted above anybody, who managed to avoid revealing to Edward anything that I had told her by going to the extent of purposely changing her thought pattern in his presence, just so he would not find out what it was that I had spoken to her about. She told me what she would think about, clothes, shoes, jasper, the latter being one of the things that would deter Edward from even trying to pay attention to what she was thinking._

_We would giggle about it all the time, sharing our little secrets, sneaking looks at each other in situations that we both found funny wearing sly smirks, and chuckling at everybody else's ignorance, our minds so often on the same wave length, I loved that she would do all that for me, I felt at times that Alice would do anything for me._

_I remember even though in doing so, I become aware of the hole that was left in my heart because of the events that had transpired as a result, of my birthday party, that Alice had organised, it was honestly the sweetest thing a person had ever done for me, as much as I hated the attention initially it didn't take long before I was very glad that Alice had done all this, and even in light, of what happened later on, I was glad that Alice had put so much effort into something that she didn't need to, despite my protest and insistence on ignoring my birthday._

_No doubt Rosalie couldn't care about my birthday, but I 'spose that Alice and I were, so much more closer than Rosalie and I, Rosalie hadn't even bothered, not that I would have wanted her to._

_Alice was the only friend I needed, even so, after all that happened at the party, Alice was the last one standing, helping Carlisle to take care of my arm, bringing the things he needed to make my arm better, staying with me as long as she could bear, even Edward had left long before her, Edward never really had the strength that Alice had around me, and I struggle to understand the difference, if Edward was my boyfriend and Alice was my best friend, how could he be unable to control himself longer than her?_

_He would have had to be more attuned to me, but he wasn't, Alice was, she and I were like one at times, she had a connection that sometimes made me wonder, whether Edward was taking his exercises' in caution to extreme limits or whether he couldn't genuinely handle being around me for prolonged periods of time, maybe it could be a hybrid of both, either way, I smelled just as alluring to Alice, she had told me so before, she had let me know that she loved me, but it was extremely hard for her to be near me at times, but even so, she struggled less than Edward, and now, despite that, she had flown back to Forks, for me._

_As much joy as these fond memories brought me, reminiscing wasn't important right now, Alice herself sat downstairs waiting for me, concerned, that I had become a suicidal head case, I have the feeling she didn't quite buy my story earlier, even though I was telling the truth I would have to explain to her in detail, to make her understand, hopefully she does._

Getting dressed I shuffled down the stairs, Alice sat on the couch staring at the Television, watching Bloomberg.

"Alice, I'm finished". I spoke, my voice sounding weaker than I had intended it to be, she smiled at me, patting the couch, the simple gesture telling me to sit next to her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Bella's POV

As I saw Alice pat the couch, I proceeded to take a seat next to her, "Alice why are you watching Bloomberg, it is so boring...shouldn't you be watching QVC or something?"

"Well Bella, Edward may or may not have told you that I've a uncanny knack for predicting stock trends, Bloomberg being a channel mainly about the stock market and finance, helps me to make sure I'm being accurate, although I doubt anyone would bet against my accuracy, I still prefer to check whether I am right or wrong...and QVC, really Bella? You should know better, " she replied, smiling at me, her smile, which the only way I could mentally describe as being "A million dollar smile" in my head, that smile is quite possibly the only smile ever to put me into such a good mood, when I've had a day full of pain and grief.

"Bella, I'd like to know more about the events of the last few months, please start from the beginning if you can, if not from the very beginning then wherever you are comfortable starting, also i am quite interested in your involvement with this Jacob, the werewolf, who is he exactly?

"Okay, after you had left...."

I told her the whole story, everything from the months that I cannot accurately recall because I wasn't a part of this world in its entirety, I was more just drifting along in limbo, then there was Jacob, who was able to drag me away from that even if only for short amounts of time, I explained the nightmares, and the many accidents and risky things I had done, which she asked me about during my explanation, I told her about Jacobs transformation, which made her sigh and seem a little frustrated, but she asked me to continue, so I did, I told her about the werewolves and how they had gone out of their way to protect me from Victoria, even if they were obligated to protect their lands from Vampires, they didn't need to watch over me or Charlie specifically, telling her how they had killed Laurent, when he had tried to attack me and I explained how the accidents were linked to Edward, how I would hear his voice, and how I became dependent upon it, seeking it out by endangering myself, bringing the story to tonight's events.

Once I had finished, Alice sat there, silent for a while, during the story I had leaned into her and she held me in her embrace for the entire story, listening intently, the feel of her smooth marble like skin a great comfort to me, the familiarity of it immediately put me at ease, although it felt almost more comfortable than when I would spend time in Edwards embrace, it felt as though her body was made for me to be comforted by, perhaps it was because she was more slender, more open and at ease than Edward was.

Her silence, had not broken as of yet, and she continued to hold me, beginning to stroke my hair gently, I didn't feel much like telling her to stop and I had no immediate urge to ask her to comment about the situation I had just explained to her, I could only enjoy being with her this way, finding solace in her arms, we sat silent together for a while.

"Edwards an idiot." She said; there was no malice in her tone, just a resolve of sorts.

"What do you mean?"

"Well...honestly, him thinking that you would be better off alone, without us here, not only have you put your life at risk a number of times due to his absence, you have become best friends with the only other mythical creature that possesses the amount of strength to seriously hurt you, worse still a young one with a serious lack of control over its anger.

Also, that very much explained the smell, you smelled a lot like damp fur" She wrinkled her nose a little after speaking that last sentence.

"But it's gone now, and you smell much more like the human Bella I adore" she added, smiling, squeezing my hand gently.

"Bella, I know that you would like to continue talking, but you look exhausted, and I think you should get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay you will be here when I wake up?"

"I already told you I'm here as long as you want me to be" Alice beamed, her smile reassuring, I trusted her enough to go along with it, she was right, I was very tired, and so she scooped me up into her arms and took me to bed, putting me to lay down underneath my comforter, she placed a gentle kiss onto the top of my head and with that, I fell into a deep slumber. For the first night in months, I slept without a single bad thought.


	7. Chapter 7

I very rarely split between character POV's during one chapter, i apologise if it is confusing, i do try to keep it to a minimum, but i think it is important to see certain situations from the POV of all involved.

Thank's for the feedback so far :) i hope you enjoy the latest chapter.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Twilight or the characters of its universe do not belong to me.

Chapter 7.

Alice's POV:

After giving Bella a gentle kiss on the head, she was asleep not longer than a few seconds later.

I decide to stay in her room with her tonight, as opposed to sleeping on the couch downstairs. Slumping into her computer chair in the corner of her room.

_Werewolves, young werewolves....risking her life, to hear the voice of my misguided brother, his foolish actions, Edward if only you knew how wrong you have been, your plan to erase yourself from her life, has back fired, because in turn, she only wanted to erase hers, she isn't the girl you fell in love with, she's the faded shadow of it, only able to gain joy from the comfort of a young group of werewolves, and from the familiarity of another Vampire._

_I wish I could be the one that she longed for, not the one who is similar enough to suffice. After all these months her love for Edward hasn't wavered._

_And yet I sit her, the idiot that I am, realising I'm in love with her, but not being what she wants, how am I going to live with myself, I wish I had known earlier, realised earlier, because the guilt I am feeling right now, is all consuming, I'm in love with the girl my brother gave up, and condemned himself to a miserable existence for. She doesn't know a thing._

"Alice..." looking toward the bed from where I'm sitting in Bella's computer chair, I see Bella open her eyes searching the room for me desperately, "Yes, Bella?"

"Will you come and lay with me, please?" she asks, my mind is awash with guilt, can I really do this, should I?

_Yes. Why not? Edward left her._ "Okay."

I go to sit on her bed and lie myself down next to her, she looks up at me, a slight smile, her expression seems content. She pushes her arm across me, sliding it over my stomach and onto my waist, her hand holding me, she moves her head forward resting against my chest and with that, she's asleep.

I should be feeling guilty right now, for feeling what I'm feeling, her arm wrapped around me, her head resting on me, it feels wonderful, her depending on me like this, her clinging to me, her request for me to sleep with her, to be her comfort as she sleeps, but all the guilt i felt, had faded away as soon as she invited me to hold her.

Bella's POV

Alice is sitting on the chair across the room, I'm managing to keep my heart and breathing rate pretty steady, if it changed pace there's a chance she would notice the difference, although she does look like she is thinking about something, quite intensely , So maybe there's a chance she won't notice, I want her to come and sleep with me, if I decide she will see and although she looks like she is deep in thought, she could also just be searching her visions that could mean her seeing me decide to ask her to sleep with me.

_Will she think that's weird? If she does, I doubt she will say no, she is loving in that way, I doubt she would decline, even if she were uncomfortable with it. _

_We'd had fallen asleep together before, spending time together downstairs on the couch and at the Cullen's house, doing the things that best friends do, watching movies or television shows, we did share a particular love of 30 rock._

_We'd sit there together in hysterics, Edward watched with us once, he didn't seem to like it very much, Edward, Edward....it doesn't hurt as much to think it, I avoided even thinking his name for so long, because the pain it caused, was insufferable, Edward._

_It hurts a little, but it's bearable. Maybe I'm too tired to feel the pain. It feels almost like a knee-jerk reaction now, an automatic response, without a cause._

_I won't decide to ask Alice until the spilt second before I do, and hopefully since she thinks I'm asleep, she won't be watching my future._

_I'm not too sure why I am so desperate to have her with me, but I know that I want her next to me, close to me and that's enough._

"Alice" I open my eyes widely, to give the impression of waking up out of my sleep looking around like I'm not sure where she is.

"Yes Bella?" she asks, "Will you come and lay with me please?" My heart pounds in my chest, _god I hope she doesn't think I'm weird, what an odd request this must seem like, I don't think she saw me decide to ask_, she pauses slightly, "Okay".

She appears by my bed and lays down beside me, smiling to myself a little, resisting the urge the grin in case she notices, I simply smirk, happy that she said yes, I slide my arm across her body, hoping that she doesn't mind too much, we were much more intimate on the couch downstairs, I was practically sitting in her lap, so I don't see anything wrong with this, pulling my grip around her tightly, I move my head to lean on her collarbone, and ease further down into her chest and close my eyes.

***

_**"Bella, I want you to know, that I would never hurt you, okay, Not ever." **_

_**"I know Alice" a smile spreading across my face. **_

_**"I would never though any choice of my own leave you, you know that, don't you bell's?" **_

_**"I know Alice" I reply smiling again. "But...why are we here?" **_

_**"I don't know Bella, you tell me" **_

_**"umm, I'm as confused as you are, this is the meadow, myself and Edwards meadow, we fell in love here" **_

_**" Most people don't remember where they fell in love Bella, they just know that they did" Alice said.**_

_** "Yeah I guess so, I just, I come here a lot, I think."**_

_** Alice looks at me, "Follow me" she says, gesturing with her finger. **_

_**"Where are we?" I say, our location having change within a fraction of a second. **_

_**"We're in the open fields, Bella, you can see for miles, across the fields, to the end of the coast line, and even further than that, into the ocean, there is no end here, no entrapment, no restrictions, this isn't like the meadow" Alice explains to me, smiling sweetly as she does so....looking around at the fields that go on for miles, I'm left with nothing to say but "Wow....Alice"**_


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own Twilight, believe me i think its pretty awesome, but if i did own it, i would ban the word Chagrin, its used much too liberally.

Chapter 8

Alice's POV

"..Alice".

Tilting my head downwards to look at Bella, hearing her say my name, she's not awake, the pace of her heart beat hasn't changed, her breathing hasn't quickened

_Why did she say my name?_

_And why? With such a tone of awe in her voice? Was she dreaming about me? She must have been, Bella just spoke my name in her sleep, and not in the way that she does Edwards, when she calls his name, it often resembles a tone of despair, like she is worried he won't be there._

_I saw her too, screaming, in my visions, pleading with him, not to go, not to leave her. She said my name, and she sounded happy._

_Perhaps I'm over analysing._

_I'll just try to forget it._

_I do not want to get ahead of myself._

_There is no ahead to get._

_Just think of something else..._

I hear a key enter the lock on the door downstairs.

_Charlie, I forgot, in all of the drama that Bella had informed me of, that he would be returning home, I had come here to assist him, in the first place, how could I have missed seeing this?_

_I can't leave Bella now, not after she looked so happy to have me with her, not she said my name, in her sleep, happy about it._

_But he is sure to check on her, I doubt he will want to find me in her bed, no warning of my arrival; I'll have to come up with an excuse for my being here, a visit perhaps, passing through to see relatives in Seattle? Yes that will do._

Carefully moving Bella's head onto her pillow, and pulling her arm from around me, I get off of the bed, silently as possible, so I don't wake my sleeping beauty - _God I have to stop thinking like this, she isn't mine_.

Taking a moment to clear my thoughts, glancing quickly in the mirror on her desk_, being around Bella all night, had seriously affected me, my eyes were pitch black for the whole time we snuggled...snuggled? _Shaking the thoughts out of my head, i turn to look into the mirror, my eyes are a dim haze of amber, _that will do._

I slide her door open and walk down the stairs.

Seeing Charlie in the kitchen, "Chief Swan" he turns to look at me "Alice!" he said, wearing an expression of shock.

"Hello Mr Swan, I'm sorry to have surprised you, I heard you come in, so I came down to let you know that I was here, neither myself or Bella had expected you to return tonight, so we went to sleep, but when I heard you come back, I thought I should let you know that I was here"

I said, flashing him a small smile, hoping that his fondness for me had not faded because of my departure.

Charlie and I had grown quite close prior to my family leaving, we would often watch sports together whilst Bella cooked or completed homework, enjoying betting the outcome of football games mainly, he was a redskins fan, i'd inevitably know who would win but often I let him win out of courtesy, feigning my disappointment and complaining about why the other team didn't end up winning.

I found myself very happy when he got excited about winning one of our wagers. Our little sessions of banter, and quips filled me with glee.

"Of course, thank you for letting me know Alice...so what are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking, it's just that, I wasn't expecting you and all" he asked.

"Well I was going to visit some relatives in Seattle, and I thought I would drop in and visit Bella and you, make sure she was still looking after you" I replied, flashing him a grin " and I wanted to gloat a little about the Redskins recent disgracefully bad loss, 34-7, that's just embarrassing" I giggled.

His face twitching into a smile, I waited expecting him to reply with some of his trademark wit, but then his face straightened, "is he back?"

Knowing who he meant, I didn't hesitate to answer

"No, just me."

He gave a little nod and sat down at the kitchen table, remembering Bella telling me about what had happened earlier on this evening, why he wasn't here - _i should say something_

"I'm very sorry to hear about your friend Charlie, Bella told me what happened, I apologise for intruding at a time like this"

Thank you, and its fine Alice, please sit down, I'm glad you came, it's good that you came, Bella...she...she needs a good friend around right now."

Sitting down on the chair across from him, I wanted to know how he had been dealing with everything, I hadn't thought of watching him whilst I was watching Bella, I'd no idea how this had affected him, and I was probably as fond as him as he was of me, feeling the remorse, my expression changed into a more serious one.

"Charlie, I've spoken to Bella, about the past few months, I know it was bad for her, really bad, and I don't blame you if you can't forgive...our family for leaving and causing such grief, and I know that this isn't the best time, but how have you been?" I asked, trying my best to impersonate a young teenage girl, who didn't quite know what to say in a situation like this.

"Your concern means a lot to me Alice, and I don't blame your family for this, not really... well you know whose departure it was that hit Bella the hardest, he left her, without even considering the effect it would have on her, if he was here to see...the pain he put my daughter through..." looking down at my feet, shuffling nervously, I could feel the twitching of my eyes, the tears that had begun to burn, ".. he left and she became another person...no she wasn't even a person, I looked into her eyes, and I could see nothing there, it was blank, and she was empty, I've never seen anyone look like that, she wouldn't talk to me, but she didn't act out, she just trudged through, day to day, going to school, coming home, cooking, eating, going to bed, and starting again in the morning, the first few weeks, she was inconsolable, she wouldn't leave her room, she threw away cds, and books, and clothes – I guess the things that reminded her of him, the worst part though, it's the screaming, every night, nonstop, I hear her crying out in her sleep, shouting his name at times.

Her mother came down here to try and help, but Bella didn't even acknowledge her. She was so close to being catatonic; Renee and I were considering calling professional help..."

He was looking down at this point, his eyebrows furrowed, one hand rubbing his temples as he spoke, he looked like he was trying to continue, but he was barely holding it together, I could feel my eyes welling up, burning to release tears that wouldn't fall, my heart straining under the guilt, the way he was describing it, I watched Bella, making sure she was safe, I saw her emptiness, but I didn't experience it, not like Charlie had.

"Charlie..." I began, his name getting caught in my throat, "I can't even begin to apologise for his actions" trying my best to word it in the most sincere way.

" I know it's not enough, and I know what is done can't be undone, but on his behalf, I want to try and apologise...if there is anyway I can begin to fix this, anything I can do, please let me know, also I want to apologise for myself, I uh..I should of tried to stay behind -a person doesn't leave their best friend when they need them most, I could of stayed behind for a while, our whole family didn't need to leave immediately, only Carlisle did, if I tried harder and asked a little more, my parents might of let me stay, I understand if you feel any resentment toward me for abandoning her. But I want you to know, I never wanted to hurt her and I love Bella, and I'm sorry that I didn't do more."

Charlie got up off of his chair, his arms spread open wide, inviting me into a hug, his eyes filled with sadness, avoiding my gaze, I stood up, moving toward him and wrapping my arms around him, remembering not to pull too hard, I gave him a few gentle pats on the back instead, my head resting against his chest, his tall figure towering over me, his arms gently resting around my shoulders, I often forget how fragile I must seem to him, my tiny frame must seem very delicate.

Sucking in a deep breath, Charlie began "Alice, don't blame yourself, I know that you love her, you've shown that by being the only person to come and visit her, and you couldn't of done anymore, you had to go with your parents, you didn't have much of a choice, I know that if you did, you wouldn't have left, a young girl like you shouldn't worry so much about the things they couldn't change".

He pulled away from the hug, giving me a pat on the shoulder, "Thank you for visiting, you're welcome to stay as long as you want to" He smiled at me, pushing his hand through his shortly cut hair, "I think I'm going to go to bed now, it's been a long day, g'd night Alice" he said, leaving the kitchen and walking toward the staircase.

"Goodnight Charlie".


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

Bella's POV

"Fields…a big field, an open field…huh?"

I awoke realising I had been talking in my sleep, this was different though, I had no woken up screaming, I had no woken up terrified, I had woken up, well a little confused to be honest.

_What an odd dream, fields, what does that even mean? Alice and I in a big field, and we were free? 'Hmm im having dreams in riddles now, I guess….no restrictions, not like the meadow…I guess it was pretty small, but what does that even matter? A little meadow…ok summarise Bella._

_I'm in a meadow, a small meadow, with Alice, and its got restrictions, there is very little light there, the grass is a flat green color, condensation has left little drops of water on the razor sharp blades of grass, tiny purple flowers grow out of it, in random patches, small burst's of color against the dull backdrop, weeping willow tree's surround it, the long branches extend toward the ground, swaying slightly against the gust's of bitter wind, the roots of the trees visible through the dirt, a sullen brown color lacking in life._

_I follow Alice through the trees, and then into a field. I can see everything, tall vibrant green grass, swaying in the wind, the sun shining down in beams, accenting little blossoms of flowers, white lillies in full bloom, majestically standing out of the grass, daisies beneath them, their thin stalks extending toward the sunlight, yellow luminous centres with small white petals surrounding them, its beautiful, all of it. The field extends so far that my vision is unable to make out anything other than the blur of the coast line, and the deep blue sky, and soft white clouds. Alice she explained it to me, well in a cryptic sort of way…Alice._

Opening my eyes, I notice that she isn't here, too busy thinking about something as trivial as a dream, I hadn't noticed that she was gone, the feeling of her still cool chest underneath my face, perfectly holding my weight, making me feel better than I had in a long time, my arm wrapped around her smooth torso, fingers pressed tightly against the fabric of her top, my thumb rested gently against a small patch of her granite skin, the smell of her next to me, like English bluebells and freesia, sweet like honey with a fresh hint of citrus. Gone.

When she had agreed to come and lay with me, I didn't want to let her go, once she was in my arms, I couldn't bear the thought of her being gone again. I need her, with me.

She said she wouldn't leave, she said she would stay with me as long as I wanted, she cant have gone.

Sitting up to examine my room, I jump up to turn on the lights, hoping that maybe I just cant see her, when I hear people talking…_Alice! She's not gone! Shes still here…wait who is she talking to?_

"Charlie…"

_Dad, he's back…what are they talking about?_

Pressing my ear to the door, I listen intently, there is a long pause after Alice says Charlies name, an air of hesitation in her voice.

"..I can't even begin to apologise for his actions, I know its not enough, and I know what has been done, cant be undone but on his behalf, I want to try and apologise…if there is any way I can begin to fix this, any thing that I can do, please let me know, also I want to apologise for myself, I uh…I should of tried to stay behind- a person doesn't leave their best friend when they need them most, I could of stayed behind for a while, our whole family didn't need to leave immediately, only Carlisle did, if I tried harder and asked a little more, my parents might of let me stay, I understand if you feel any resentment toward me, for abandoning her.

But I want you to know, I never wanted to hurt her, and I love Bella, and im sorry that I didn't do more"

Feeling the tears pool in my eyes, they begin to burn, and trying to hold back sobs, I let them stream down my face, gulping for air, _Alice can't possibly blame herself for what happened, no I wont let her, its not her fault, I know if it weren't for Edwards stubborn ways, his stupid Martyr complex, she would of stayed, does she think I expected her to abandon her family, for me? No. No, I'm not going to let her think that-_

"Alice, don't blame yourself, I know that you love her, you've shown that by being the only one to come and visit her, and you couldn't of done anymore, you had to go with your parents, you didn't have much of a choice, I know that if you did, you wouldn't of left, a young girl like you shouldn't worry so much about the things they couldn't change."

The tears unstoppable now, flowing out of my eyes, my vision blurred , my eyes sore from the irritation and strain, I want to so desperately cry out, instead releasing little whimpers in my throat, holding back the inconsolable pain.

_How could Alice think that it was her fault, she couldn't of done anything different, and Charlie was right, she had been the only person to come, she came as soon as possible when she thought that I could be in danger, she alone came to see me, without a second thought, and all along it had been her watching me, making sure that I was safe, my welfare still of the up most importance to her, after all the time that has passed, she completely disregarded Edward's instructions._

_She needed to make sure that I was safe, and she did._

_That is really loving a person, doing all that you are able to, in whatever situation you are presented with, Alice the only person who fought against leaving, knowing it was the wrong thing for me, pleading with Edward to reconsider, trusting my character enough…knowing me well enough to have no doubts about my ability to manage in situations that are hard._

Hearing Charlie's heavy foot steps as he walked up the stairs, I pulled myself away from the door and got in to bed, dragging the covers over my head, I lay still, not wanting him to know that I was awake, let alone crying uncontrollably.

_T__he guilt plagued me, the need to convey to Alice that I didn't blame her, to alliviate any blame she placed on herself, to rid her of the hurt that I could hear In her voice when she spoke, all I can think of. I have to let her know, make her better, I need to_.


	10. Chapter 10

Just wanted to take a quick moment to say thanks for reading, i saw how many hits i had and i must admit i was very suprised, i hope you like it so far :)

Dont own Twilight, property of Mrs Meyer - If i did own Twilight, there would be no tracing of jaws and what not, there would be groping. Lol.

Chapter 10.

Alice's POV

Needing a few moments to regain my thoughts, not wanting to return to Bella in this state, I went to open the kitchen window, inhaling a few deep breaths and exhaling very calmly, I shut the window, and readied myself to go upstairs.

_Hopefully Bella hasn't noticed my absence. _

Knowing Charlie was in bed; I was shot up the stairs and was at Bella's door in a millisecond. Opening it, I saw Bella had pulled herself under the covers, she must of noticed that I had left, I heard her shallow breathing and small sniffles, approaching her, I bent forward, and tapped her lightly on the shoulder "Bella, is everything ok, is this because I left you? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I just went to talk to Charlie for a short while-".

Throwing the sheets off of her, she sat up quickly, using the back of hands to wipe her eyes, she flung her arms around me, holding me tightly, and breathing deeply into my neck.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I won't go again."

" No Alice, I'm not crying because you went" she cried out, her eyes opening widely, as her eyebrows arched upwards, an urgency to talk, etched on her face

"I'm crying because, well I'm crying because I heard....what you and Charlie were talking about and I heard you apologise, and I heard what you said, and you were blaming yourself, for..." she rolled her eyes downwards, gesturing a sweeping pattern over her body, starting at her head, down to her knees

"This..." she continued.

"Alice, please, I'm asking you don't even begin to accept a thread of the blame, this has nothing to do with your departure, this state I worked myself up into, it's not your fault, and there really isn't anything you could of done to change the way I reacted to him going, it's not your fault that he is so controlling and so convinced that he is right all the time...."

_I see Bella pleading with me not to feel guilty and maybe she is right, maybe there was no way for me to have changed anything, but worse than that, even worse than the regret and guilt weighing heavy on my heart, for such a long time, now i have the overwhelming feeling of being defeated, my leaving was not a factor in this, it wasn't my departure that contributed to her emptiness, it was all him, so as long as he would of stayed she would of been fine, the pain I'm feeling in realising this, is agony, I'm blaming myself for causing the girl I'm in love with months of depression, thinking there must of been something that I could have done differently. There wasn't._

_Only Edward could have prevented this-_

"..you were the only one who came back for me Alice, you were the only one who loved me enough to watch me, make sure I was safe, even when you had gone to start a new life halfway across the country, and you didn't have to but you did, that's what love is supposed to be like, you trust me Alice, and you know me, you know me better than anyone, you know me better than Edward does.."

_I can't take it, I know all of this, everything she is saying is leading somewhere I don't want to hear, a thank you perhaps, for knowing better than Edward did..._

" .. and I heard you say that you love me, and I heard the remorse in your voice and it didn't need to be there, you tried so hard, you are the only person that could console me in months, you made the pain go away.

I have been thinking about our relationship, and comparing it with mine and Edwards..." _what?_ " and my relationship with Edward well it doesn't compare, it doesn't even come close to what I feel for you Alice, I mean it, I've been thinking about it all, every single detail and I realised something, and I know I shouldn't feel it...." she paused, taking in a deep breath after her frantic outburst, _I cant think straight, what is Bella saying?_

_What shouldn't she feel?_

Bella's hand reached out cradling my cheek, my skin reacting to her touch, the soft surface of her palm, I can feel the heated blooded rushing to her underneath the surface of her skin, wearing a doe eyed expression, she meets my gaze, her deep brown eyes, looking alive for the first time since I saw her yesterday evening, I can hear her heart thumping in her chest, her breathing hitched, _I should probably tell her to breathe_

"I love _you _Alice"

"Bella, brea-"

"Alice, I love you" she repeated, more firmly this time, not averting her gaze, her heart beat is practically beating its way out of her chest, I've never heard a humans heart pound this way,.

"Bella, I, how? What? I don't know what to..." I mumble a barely coherent sentence.

"One more time, Alice, I Love You."

With that I pull her up from the bed, and bring her body close to my own, meeting her gaze, her hand falls from my cheek, down to her side, moving my arms to wrap around her neck, my skin ablaze from the small amount of contact our bodies our making, I feel her hand gently rest on my hip, and that is all the confirmation I need, pulling her forward, I pressed my lips to hers, capturing them between mine, softly kissing her, I don't recall feeling like this before, this kiss was something else, it revealed a new sense of longing, one that seemed deeply embedded, sending little sparks of electricity all over my body, her warm lips pulling away from mine, opening my eyes, her eyes fluttered open, a smile played across her lips.

"I guess third time's the charm" she began giggling to herself.

I couldn't help but laugh along with her, realising how dense I must have seemed, she had told me she loved me three times, and I all I could go in the moment, was stare at her blankly¸ taking much too long to process the information.

"I love you too, Bella...I'm sorry I didn't respond, it's just that I had been thinking about it also, but I didn't quite know what to make of the information and-"

"Alice, I think I've done enough talking for the both of us, let's be quiet now, hmm?"

She smiled before placing a kiss on my lips, pulling my body into hers, I could feel the heat all over me, her grip on my waist tightened as the kiss intensified, the both of us, applying more pressure, there was no hesitation in the kiss, only want, need, desire.

Bella flicked her tongue across my lower lip, prompting me to open my mouth, and respond with my own, as I felt the soft, slick push of her tongue against mine, massaging just the tip of my own, a deep moan escaped my throat, I ran one of my hands through her silky brunette locks, pushing her head forward, her tongue delved deeper into my mouth, our tongues now stroking each others, slowly.

I gradually withdrew my tongue, trapping her bottom lip between mine, before pulling away from her, her lip dragging between mine, slowly before our lips parted.

Bella let out a small whimper of protest, placing a small peck on her lips, I urged her backwards, her knees buckling backwards against the edge of the mattress, she was now sitting on the bed, looking up at me, her face flustered, a beautiful shade of pink flush, her eyes blinking rapidly¸ as she tried to regain herself, her breaths now nothing more than quick panting.

She took my hand in hers, pulling me downwards, I happily obliged, lowering my body until i was sitting on her lap, cupping her face between my hands, tilting her head toward mine, our lips met and our kiss, was just as intense as before I had broken it, her hands held onto my back, her fingertips sliding underneath the fabric of my top, scraping against my skin, leaving trails of heat in their wake, releasing my hands from her face, I placed them on her shoulders, applying pressure gentle, she fell backwards, into the mattress.

Following her forward, our fronts pressed together, I adjusted my legs, pushing one between hers, which had fallen open slightly, so that my thigh rested just between the middle of hers, Bella began shifting backwards further into the bed, underneath me her legs opening just a little more, my thigh slipped forwards, at this, Bella groaned, biting my bottom lip, nipping at it.

My eyes were as black as onyx now, and I kissed her back, passionately, delving my tongue deeper into her mouth, I felt her fingertips squeeze into my back, sliding my hand down the side of Bella's body, my fingers stopped, at the edge of the shirt she was wearing, I lay my hand flat against her abdomen, pushing it slowly upwards, over her stomach, I let my fingers brush over her, I heard Bella's gasp at the action, again her hands pressed into my back, a physical sign of gentle encouragement.

_This was unbelievable, hearing the sounds Bella made, escaping her lips, seeing the expressions her face wore, when she was enjoying my touch, the heat from her body, flushing all over me, the scent that danced through the air, making me inhale deeply, taking all of it in, the taste of her, sweet, irresistible, addictive, thrilling every single taste bud on my tongue, Bella assaulted my senses in the most pleasurable way I could ever know._

My hand continuing on its path upwards, the cotton of Bella's shirt rubbing against it, the heat of her smooth skin under my fingertips, inhaling, taking the moment in, I brushed my thumb of the fabric of Bella's lace bra, I could feel her hardened nipple, protruding through the fabric under the pad of my thumb, a quick gasp fell from her mouth, her body arched upwards, searching for friction, her hips began rolling, grinding against my own, her legs falling open completely, I pushed my thigh all the way through, until I hit the apex of them, the contact of my thigh, pushing against her core, making her moan into my shoulder, the sound, sending a shudder of ecstasy down my spine-

A high pitched noise, began to ring out in the room, _What is that? Where? Shit. my phone_, the phone continued ringing, I would ignore it, Bella didn't even look around to investigate, she was caught in the rhythm of our lips pressing against each other, our bodies grinding together.

It was addictive.

I didn't want to stop.

I wouldn't.

The ringing got louder, hearing Charlie grumble in his bedroom, I snapped out of my daze, hesitantly pushed myself off of the bed, Bella turning her head to look at me, a sort of panic on her face, "Is Charlie awake?"

"Nope" I muttered, "False Alarm".

The phone began ringing again, this level of persistence isn't normal, there must be a problem, flipping the phone open, I didn't recognise the number.

I answered...

_"Alice, its Rosalie..."_

"Rosalie...Hi, No...It seems that i was wrong"

_"You were wrong? Are you sure?"_

"Of course I'm sure, I'm....with Bella right now..."

_"Oh, well then there could be a problem."_

"A problem? What type of problem?"

_"I may have – he deserved to know Alice, we couldn't leave him in the dark about it, i thought after he knew, things would return to normal, our family has separated because of this whole situation, we could just get on with our lives-"_

"What. Are you talking about?

_"Edward – I told him what you saw."_

**_***_**

_**"The Volturi. They'll help me. If they don't. I'll do something else. What can i do? I could feed in the city. Expose myself to somebody maybe. I'll destroy something, a landmark perhaps? A display of my strength... or my speed?**_

_**Whatever i do, i must do it soon. I'll end it all, No life at all, is better than a life without her alive. First i will go and see the Volturi. That is where I'll start."**_

**_***_**


	11. Chapter 11

Very short chapter this time.

Thanks for the reviews, and yeah i know Edward needs to gdiaf but i couldnt just kill him off so easily :P

Enjoy review if you have time :)

Chapter 11.

Bella POV

"Alice."

She stood silent; a look of horror in her eyes, her lower lip trembling, her hands, shaking faintly, if possible, her skin had become a few shades whiter.

"Alice?"

Walking over to her, i placed a calm hand on her shoulder, her eyes meeting with mine.

"It's Edward." She whispered her voice pained.

"Edward...." I hesitated, not sure what to make of his name, or her demeanour prior to saying it.

"Edward, he....he still thinks you're dead, i had spoken to Rosalie a short while after i arrived, i told her where i was, after she received a phone call from Jasper, he was concerned, but didn't want to go against Edwards wishes by returning, he didn't agree with my 'meddling', i explained to her, why i couldn't possibly stay away."

"Okay what does that have to do with Edward?" I asked a little hurt by what Jasper considered to be Meddling.

"Well, Rosalie, after speaking to me, after i told her that i had come back to an empty house, your truck gone, no sign of Charlie, your future having disappeared from my visions...she decided to tell Edward, she thought he deserved to know, so she called him..."

"So she told him, I'm not seeing a problem here. He doesn't love me anymore, he told me so himself before he left."

"Bella. Of course he does. He always has. He always will.

"Alice, i-"

"He's going to kill himself. He decided. I saw it. Just after i had spoken to Rosalie, i saw him, he has decided, he just doesn't know how."

"What?! No. Is he stupid, why would he do that? Where is he? When?" I cried

"He has decided yet. He's in Italy.

"NO! No, he can't! I won't let him. Call him, tell him I'm alive. Alice you have to stop him.

"He wouldn't believe me if i did Bella."

"Well we have to try; i can't let him do this!"

"There's a chance, if he saw you...in person."

"Then what are we waiting for?! Let's go....now."

"Bella you can't just leave-"

"Alice, we HAVE to leave.

"I already saw him decide to go to the Volturi; he won't take long to get to them. If they say no. We have a chance, we'd have to hurry.

Tears had begun falling from my eyes, i hadn't noticed until i felt the burn, unaware of how long i had been crying, the panic had taken over, my face drenched, my body quivering, my legs numb, the hairs on the back of my arms and necks, standing on edge.

Choking out the words, "Okay, let's go, I'll leave a note for Charlie..." "I don't care what happens...when i get back...i...can't let him...Alice" I finished, saying her name, my voice filled with pain and pleading.

"There's just one thing, if we go, there is a possibility that the Volturi will kill me too, this is going to be very dangerous Bella, and you know far too much about our World, they won't approve of it."

"I don't care about my own well being right now, i have to help him, and I need to."

_the pain of Edward leaving, it meant nothing to me now; there was no way i'd allow him to kill himself. How could he react like this? He doesn't deserve to suffer, the feelings of hate and hurt, had dissipated, he needs me right now, I'm going to get into so much trouble when i get back...if i make it back. That doesn't matter, I'll go, he'll see me, and everything will be fine...what about...Alice...oh god, what would that do to him, if he found out? I can't tell him, i can't bear the thought of him ending his life. What have i gotten myself into? We'll deal with it when we get back, we'll get him back here. Then face this problem._

"Bella, i can't put you at risk, I'm afraid of getting you killed..." Alice sighed.

The look in her eyes, she wore a frown, concern in her expression.

"I – I'll be fine Alice. If you're not coming, I'll go alone. I manage to put myself on the brink of death nearly every day, this changes nothing."

She sighed heavily, "Il call the airlines." She said dryly.


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for reading/reviewing. I hope you are enjoying it so far. Any suggestions are welcome. Review if you have the time :)

Disclaimer: Dont own it. Property of Stephanie Meyer.

Chapter 12.

Alice POV

_Edward. My brother, who i loved, the member of my family that i felt closest to, planning on ending his life, how could i have done such a terrible thing to him? _

_Only a few hours ago, i was kissing, touching, had my hands all over her, his girl. Bella._

_ I knew he loved her, that didn't deter me, convincing myself he had missed his chance, trying to alleviate my own guilt, using him leaving as an excuse, telling myself that his abandonment meant it was ok for me to pursue her. My own desire ruling my mind._

_Now I'm sitting on a plane, on my way to try and stop him, with her. She's sitting nowhere near me, fidgeting nervously, playing with her hands, her anxiety visible in her expression. I wonder if she feels as guilty as i. Perhaps she isn't even thinking about it. Her sole concern being Edwards's safety. Her Romeo. Ready to finish it all at the news, of his Juliet's demise._

_Her willingness to put herself in harm's way, to drop everything at a moment notice, to go to his rescue. So courageous. So selfless. Unlike me, my selfishness clouded my mind. _

_Edward...please hold on. Don't do anything reckless. I promise, I'll never betray you again. _

_Let me search for him, look for the Volturi's answer._

Time passed excruciatingly slowly as i looked for Edward. The flight seeming incredibly long.

Bella still anxiously fidgeting, sighing heavily, running her hands through her hair clearly overwhelmed with nerves.

Chewing her lip, as she so often did, when she was worried.

_There. They said no._

"Bella..."

"Yes?" she choked out

"The Volturi, they've decided to say no, they won't aid him in killing himself. But they will be keeping an eye on him, for as long as he is in Volterra."

"That's good news right? It means i have time, i can get to him in time." She replied, a slight air of optimism in her statement.

I nod my head, and turn towards the window, the shutter closed, i need to avoid my skin coming into contact with the light, i slump down into my chair, and close my eyes, engrossed in thought.

_You can get to him in time. Not us. Of course. It was just a blip, she slipped up for a moment, earlier on, her profession of love, it must of been, she still loves him, she can't love the both of us, and she shouldn't, she belongs to him. Her heart, damaged as it may be, eternally his._

"Alice?" Bella says, her voice sounds weak, _she must be tired._

"Yes Bella?"

"What about the others? Shouldn't you let them know...what's happening, what we are going to do?" She asks with thoughtful eyes

"I will do. Thank you for reminding me, i have been very preoccupied watching him"

_Jasper. I haven't thought about him since we left forks. I must call him, let him know what is happening, what could happen and Carlisle, he needs to know, to prepare. Esme, how will she react, how will she manage if Edward does this?"_

Letting out a heavy sigh, i search around in my bag, finding my cell phone, Jasper the first person i call.

After explaining to him, and convincing him not to come. _I'm sure Bella noticed our exchange, but i couldn't put him in danger, I'll explain to her, if she enquires, i do love Jasper, my loving husband, so loyal, so ready to face any danger or challenge in order to protect me_.

Dialling Carlisle next, i speak to him.

_"Yes....we are on the plane now.... it's not long until we land ... about an hour... I'm not sure how we will get to Volterra.... we'll find a way....yes....I've spoken with Jasper....this is the easiest way....less of us will be at risk....the Volturi wouldn't want to offend you.....we have a fair chance, but in case....ok....I'll call you when we get out."_

"The Volturi, i know they are considered the Royalty of the vampire world, but what makes them different?" Bella asked, in a hush tone

Looking into her questioning eyes, i decided to explain as much as possible, telling Bella how they are some of the oldest vampires in existence, the three eldest being Aro, Marcus and Caius, they are also the largest coven, practically owning their city, many of them possessing formidable abilities, they were almost like the rulers, they would enforce punishment when necessary, they aren't a family that one would dare anger.

Bella's eyes widened after i had finished telling her about them, a knowing look, acknowledging the danger we were about to face.

"Bella...if i could, if there was another way, i would do this without you. I promise if things do go wrong, i will do the best i can to get you out of there aliv  
?e, i will find a way."

She nodded in response, her chocolate eyes staring into mine, like she didn't quite know how to word her appreciation. That look was enough.

The seatbelt sign flickers to life, in the periphery of my vision. We must be descending.

_I should try to cover my skin as much as possible, the sun is shining brightly outside, and i doubt that it will change within the next 20 minutes or so that it takes the plane to land. I can't walk through the airport either, it is too exposed, i wonder how close the car park is to the runway?_

"Bella..?"

"Yes? She looked up, apprehensive

"How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"


	13. Chapter 13

A/n. Just to alleviate any fears, this is a Bella and Alice fic, so Edward wont be around forever, hes just kind of a lingering problem at the moment.

But seriously, A/B may love each other, but that doesn't mean they want Edward to like go kill himself. Personally I have no qualms about what he does, but for the sake of not being like ultra harsh, they're gonna try and save his sorry ass xD

Review if you have time

Disclaimer: Dont own Twilight. I want to...so Stephanie if you feel like cutting me in on the franchise, holla at me ;)

Chapter 13

Bella POV

Alice wasn't exactly being conspicuous with her choice of vehicle, a yellow Porsche, but speed was an advantage and we needed all the advantages we could get.

Edward had decided on how he would anger the Volturi, he had been to them and they had refused his request, they thought he could be of use to them, he had declined their offer to join them, Alice said he had done so particularly angrily too, 'colorful' was the way she described his reaction, he had decided to take matters into his own hands, and walk out into the sunlight, in the middle of a festival, in the centre of the city, under a clock tower, exposing his skin to hundreds of humans, that would surely rub the Volturi the wrong way.

We had until noon to stop him.

_All i have to do is let him see me. Get to him in time, so that he sees I'm alive. Then get out of the city as fast as possible._

"Alice, do you see anything else?"

"Yes, today is a significant day in Volterra, a celebration of sorts, the streets will be filled with people in red cloaks, red flags and drapes are all over the city, it is known as St Marcus Day....Edward, and his theatrical tendencies, knowing what the celebration was about, choose the perfect day to piss the Volturi off."

"What do you mean?"

"St Marcus day is a festival, celebrating – ironically- a missionary, called Marcus who supposedly drove all of the Vampires out of Volterra, 1500 years ago, of course he didn't, it was Marcus of the Volturi, and he simply went into hiding. Credited with it, they named a day after him, although now days it is more a celebration of the Police force." She explained.

"So him exposing himself would be bad, like really bad, like you're going to die very quickly, but in an extreme amount of pain, bad." I replied, feeling dread spread through me, still biting my lip nervously, tapping my foot frantically.

"Yes. Edward, ever the drama queen. Of course he wants to go out with a bang." Alice said, darkly.

"We're close...."

"Okay, let me know what i have to do"

"I'm going to get you as close to the square as possible. I can't enter with you. I'll point you in the direction of the tower, and you will need to run, as fast as you can, carefully please Bella. He will only need to see you, and you should be safe."

_Seems easy enough, although being the only person in the world, who can trip walking along a flat stable surface, i could possibly mess everything up._

"We're here." Alice announced, turning her head towards me, looking into my eyes, her face, wearing an unreadable expression.

"Once we past this guard, and i don't know that we will, if we don't you will have to go in alone, run you should be able to see the clock tower, if not ask for Palazzo dei Priori, and run where they show you, once you are near, Edward will be underneath facing northwards, in a small alley, the alley is in the shadows, you must get to him before he steps into the sun."

I nodded in response.

We had reached the guard, Alice wearing a head scarf, large glasses and long gloves that covered the entire length of her forearm, rolled the window down, her face in the shadow of the car, turning to face the guard, her smile dazzling, she said nothing handing him a roll of bills. The guard understanding immediately what it meant, allowed us through, and we drove into the city. Stopping in a small darkened alley.

"This is as far as i can take you, over there is where you need to run" she gestured pointing through the windshield.

Reaching for the handle, i turned to get out of the car, taking a deep breath, readying myself.

"Bella wait..." she said, grabbing my arm.

"What is it?"

" I know i shouldn't, and this is the worst time, but there will be no other opportunity to do this, if we are caught, and if i do not manage to make it out alive, this will be the last time i can ever....i promise it will be the last time that i ever...."

"Alice?..."

Before i knew what had happened, she had crushed her lips to mine, desperation in the kiss, like she knew if could be the last time she ever saw me. The palm of her hand, cupping the side of my face, her other, tangled in my hair, i kissed back with urgency, understanding completely, the thought, the feeling, behind the kiss.

Her soft lips, clashing with mine, out of breath i pulled away, far enough to look into her eyes, the hand she held in my hair, she released, dropping it to rest against my leg, her other hand still cupping my face, staring into my eyes intently, her topaz eyes, looking straight through me, inhaling, the urge to cry in this moment becoming overwhelming, my eyes began to burn, closing her eyes, i closed mine along with her, brushing my hair out of the way, she placed a final kiss to my forehead.

"Go."


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for the reviews :) they are greatly appreciated.

This is the longest chapter i've written so far i think, i hope you enjoy it. Just as a reminder, italics and bold = either a memory/dream/vision, italics are thoughts of who evers POV it is.

Reviews always a good thing, review if you can :)

Disclaimer: I Regina Filange do not own Twilight, it is property of Stephanie Meyer. As are all subsequent Mary-Sue-Isms.

Chapter 14

Alice POV

12 hours later.

The drive back to the airport was eerily quiet. We had gotten out alive.

Showing Aro my thoughts ensured that._ I__'m so happy we got out of there. I can't wait to see Jasper. I miss him so dearly. I could not be more glad that he didn't follow me here. I couldn't stomach the thought of anything happening to him. I will tell him all about it when i get back. I'll also tell him about the Porsche. I have to get one of my own. It's Fabulous. Perhaps i could ask Edward..._

"Alice, i owe you so much more than that, you will most certainly be receiving one." Edward said, his voice grateful

"Yellow please" I replied, flashing him a wide smile.

_Well that is wonderful. I'm not sure what I'll do with my other car however. I suppose there is no need to get rid of it. Perhaps I could have a car for every day of the week, too much?_

Edward Chuckled to himself in the backseat.

Little did he know, that the whole time i was thinking these things on purpose, trying to keep my mind occupied with as many thoughts as possible.

_The fashion in Italy has certainly improved. I can't wait to get back home. I'd say retail therapy is in order. I saw some wonderful shoes too, although forks doesn't have the same weather, it would be a little odd to wear some of the items there, in the cold, well it would look odd to those around me, i wouldn't be bothered by it, i am unaffected by it, i could pull it off, however, i should probably avoid drawing attention to myself. I need a Porsche outfit. Co ordination is very important_.

Edward chuckled again.

Me being the only person in the car whose mind he could read, my thoughts must be very noticeable

_Jasper, i doubt he will be too upset at my actions. I know how he worries about me. He wasn't too happy about me coming here alone, i must find a way to make it up to him, and I doubt that will be very hard..._

Edward cleared his throat very loudly.

"Alice..."

"Sorry Edward, i really can't help it" I said giggling.

"We're here now, you won't have to hear it much longer" Grinning widely, i opened the door, and got out. He stepped out. Bella in his arms, it was very dark, our plane should be arriving soon.

Bella struggling to keep her eyes open, she had hardly said a word the whole journey, clinging to Edward the whole journey, never once looking at me.

Just managing to make our flight, we boarded the plane, only 2 passengers boarded after us.

Bella and Edward sat together. Not saying very much, except when Edward was encouraging her to sleep, and she refused.

Deciding to call Jasper to pass the time, and conceal my thoughts, even harder to keep under control, watching Edward kiss Bella continuously, touching her face, her doing the same to him. They continued this way for the majority of the flight. It was as though neither of them were quite convinced they were real.

When i had finished speaking to Jasper, i decided to listen to music; it would be distracting enough, to keep any thoughts hidden.

I couldn't have been happier to reach the tarmac, seeing everybody waiting for us, also getting as far away from Edward as possible. I of course, was overjoyed at my brother being alive. But not being able to think openly for the past 20 plus hours, was tortuous. Walking over to Jasper, looking into his eyes, and smiling. A Look shared, all we needed.

Carlisle and Esme approached, "Edward", Carlisle rested his hand on his shoulder, and tilted his head. Esme hugged Bella, and thanked her quietly. Carlisle thanking her also.

Emmett and Rosalie were waiting by the black sedan, Edward shot Rosalie a look, Esme in turn shot him one. Rosalie obviously apologetic, didn't respond.

My smile widened upon hearing Esme suggest that Edward and Bella ride with Rosalie.

Meaning i would be free to clear my head, although i would have to be careful about my emotions. Jasper would notice.

When we had arrived back in Forks, Edward had gone with Bella to take her home.

Leaving the Family to sit around contemplating the recent events. Jasper and i, went upstairs, to share a quiet moment, i needed to be alone, so excusing myself, with the excuse of needing to hunt. I went off into the woods, further than i would usually go.

Leaning against the back of a tall oak tree, the leaves rustled in the wind, i slid down against the tree, pieces of rough bark, falling off, scraping across my marble skin, i sat at the base of the tree, feeling the damp spongy moss against my legs, slumping my shoulders forward, and exhaling. Finally having enough space to think, and be alone.

***

_**Aro, the oldest of the Volturi, he was tall and lean, he had skin that looked very much like an onion, pale white, and translucent, long black hair flowed freely down to his shoulders, his eyes bloody red with a pale white haze, he drifted towards the throne on his right, staring at Marcus, much like Aro, he had flowing long, jet black hair, his skin also pale, its texture looked chalky, his eyes bright red, his expression showing disinterest. Aro took his hand, for a short second and turned to face us. **_

_**"Thank you Marcus...Interesting, so very interesting. There seems to be a great deal of intensity, in this particular relationship. Even Marcus himself, is curious about this. He is so very rarely curious about anything." Aro began laughing to himself, lightly.**_

_**Edward and i turned to each other...i wore a disgruntled expression. Not sure what had just happened.**_

_**"Marcus, can sense relationships" he whispered to me.**_

_**I averted my gaze as quickly as i could. I could only hope that he was referring to Edward and Bella, undoubtedly Marcus would have picked up on mine and Bella's relationship. Could that be what was entertaining Aro?**_

_**"It takes quite a bit; to surprise Marcus...i can assure you. This situation however. Well. I'm sure there were...will be a lot more surprises to come." Aro chimed in.**_

_**"Edward, i must say, i am very impressed with your strength, standing next to her like that."**_

_**"It's not without effort" Edward replied, a look of discontent with Aro's games.**_

_**"Even so, it's very admirable, after all la tua cantante! What a waste!"**_

_**Both Bella and I turned to look at Edward. He shook his head. He'd fill us in later.**_

_**"I look at it as more of a price" Edward replied, a slight smirk as he spoke.**_

_**" Yes, well if i hadn't experienced it, through your thoughts, i wouldn't of known just how strong it is, it seems so much of a waste, oh what most of us would trade for this unique gift, and yet you..."**_

_**"Waste it?" Edward quipped**_

_**"Indeed. Something troubles me, how is it, that with blood as enchanting as that, so close to you, so within your grasp, for so long, that you do not see this girl as much more than a meal? Not to say, that i don't see anything else that could cause one to be so...infatuated. She is quite unique. But surely, her blood is what you are drawn to."**_

_**"What is that supposed to mean?" Edward said, getting angrier at Aro's games.**_

_**"Wait and see Edward, perhaps Alice, will be enlightened, with the help of her thrilling ability" Aro chuckled to himself lightly.**_

_**Edward didn't answer.**_

_**"Bella, I am curious about something. You seem to be, the exception, immune i would say, to Edwards, impressive gift.**_

_**Edward looked down at Bella. Nodding. Letting her know she should go ahead.**_

_**Bella extended her hand, she was visibly trembling as Aro floated towards her, his black hair extending past his shoulders, waving slightly, framing his face, in great contrast to his pale, translucent skin, glowing red eyes fixated on her outstretched hand, pressing his hand against Bella's, she flinched at the contact.**_

_**"Well, that is very interesting indeed."**_

_**Edward and i shared a look, he seemed a little smug.**_

_**Drifting away..."A first...could she possibly be immune to all of our talents...Jane" Aro called after the tiny vampire, she was truly frightening, a young girl no more than 14, with blonde hair, and beautiful features, her eyes glowing red, there was no milky hue like Aro's, wearing a grim smile, she stepped forward, "Yes master?" she answered in a sinister tone.**_

_**Edward snapped his teeth; i grabbed his arm, restraining him, "No." I said, he shook my arm off, taking a step back. Growling still.**_

_**Aro spoke "Jane, i wonder if Bella is immune to your talents..."**_

_**Caius, the third vampire who sat with Aro, his skin also similar to Aro's, thin almost see through, but remaining a flat shade of white, his hair also white, flowed freely onto his shoulders, the whiteness, making his bright red eyes, seem that much more prominent, he and a few other spectators drifted toward us to watch.**_

_**"Don't!" Edward shouted, throwing himself in front of Bella.**_

_**Within seconds, Edward was on the floor writing in pain. His expression, one of complete agony.**_

_**Jane continued smiling down at him, his body jerking against the marble floor.**_

_**"Stop! Please! No!" Bella cried out, clearly horrified at what was happening to Edward.**_

_**"Jane." Aro called to her, flashing a look at her. She looked away. Edward was still.**_

_**Aro titled his head in Bella's direction. Jane shot a look at Bella, who i was now physically restraining; she struggled to no avail, paying no attention to Jane.**_

_**"He's fine" I told her. She stopped struggling, as Edward got up. Horror reflected in his eyes, he looked from at me then at Bella, seeing she was fine. Relief washed over him. Taking Bella from my arms. I stepped aside.**_

_**"Hahaha well, this. Is wonderful!" Aro chuckled.**_

_**Jane however, did not look so amused. Hissing and staring in Bella's direction, grimacing.**_

_**"Now now Jane, don't be put out, you aren't the only one who finds this...frustrating" he mused, patting her on the shoulder.**_

_**"So where do we go from here? What shall we do you with all now?"**_

_**Stiffening our postures. We had been waiting for this.**_

_**"I don't suppose you have changed your mind?" Aro asked**_

_**"Edward?"**_

_**"I'd rather not" he answered, glancing around the room.**_

_**"Alice, perhaps you would be interested in joining us"**_

_**"No thank you." I replied.**_

_**"And you Bella?"**_

_**Edward hissed at that, tightening his grip around Bella.**_

_**Before she could say anything. Caius interceded.**_

_**"What?" He said in a dry tone.**_

_**"Caius, do not tell me that you fail to see the potential, imagine the...possibilities" Aro replied, sounding almost enthused.**_

_**"No thank you." Bella spoke, her voice no more than a slight whisper.**_

_**"What a terrible shame" Aro sighed**_

_**"Join or die?! Is that what this is Aro" Edward said through gritted teeth.**_

_**"Of course not Edward. We were convened here, prior to your Arrival. We didn't gather for your arrival." Aro huffed, sounding slightly offended at Edwards's allegation.**_

_**"Aro, you cannot honestly be thinking of allowing them to go. The law claims them" Caius spoke.**_

_**"How so?" Edward asked.**_

_**Caius titled his head towards Bella. "Her, She knows too much of our kind. She is a risk."**_

_**"Are there not a number of humans, involved in the operations here?" Edward replied.**_

_**"Yes, however the end we have in mind for them. Well it is not what you intend for her. If she exposes our secrets, are you willing to destroy her?"**_

_**Bella opened her mouth to talk, shutting it abruptly after Caius glanced at her, raising a white haired eyebrow.**_

_**"And you have stated that you have no intention, of making her...one of us, thus rendering her a liability...her life, is forfeit. You and Alice are free to leave. She stays."**_

_**Edward gritted his teeth.**_

_**"That is what i thought" Caius concluded.**_

_**"Unless, you do intend to grant her immortality?" Aro asked, curiosity coloring his tone.**_

_**Edward paused, "and if i do?"**_

_**Aro, smiling, almost triumphant answered "Well then you are free to go."**_

_**Aro raised his hand, intending for Edward to show him.**_

_**"Mean it, please Edward." Bella whispered to him**_

_**Edward stared at her; his face wore an expression of genuine terror.**_

_**Stepping forward, i raised my hand to Aro's to meet his.**_

_**Regardless of the consequences, as long as we are allowed to leave alive, Bella and Edward are able to get out safely. I am prepared to deal with the aftermath, if Aro chooses to reveal what he sees in my thoughts. Every thought I've ever had. I only hope he pays attention to the one that matters. My decision to turn Bella.**_

_**Silent in my approach, a guard moved toward me, Aro waved him away, taking my hand in his, holding it for longer than he would another person. He seemed fascinated by my thoughts. Growing worried, seconds passed, a smile playing on Aro's lips. Something must have been wrong.**_

_**After a few, what seemed to be endless moments, Aro released my hand.**_

_**"Ha ha ha, now that was fascinating!" He laughed, the laugh coming from the pit of his stomach. Turning to smirk at Marcus. Giving him a knowing look. Almost a confirmation of what Marcus had told him, earlier on.**_

_**The room fell silent.**_

_**He'd was bound to say something now.**_

_**"That was, wonderful, what a unique insight you have. A very pleasant experience. I simply couldn't drag myself away." Aro began chuckling**_

_**"I'm glad you enjoyed them" I retorted, dryly.**_

_**"I can assure you, i did, to see the things that you've seen, to feel them...Especially the ones that haven't happened yet." He laughed, clearly enjoying himself. Indicating to me, that i knew exactly what he meant.**_

_**He didn't seem to be mentioning it. I couldn't look for it either.**_

_**"Are you pleased now Aro? Do you see that it will happen?"**_

_**"Yes, it is definitely determined; things stand to get quite interesting." He answered, wearing a smirk.**_

_**Caius hissed "Aro!"**_

_**"Caius, do not worry. I think you will be, quite surprised with the outcome of things. Don't forget the possibilities. They may not join us today, but the future well, imagine Alice joining our humble house...and Bella, i am so very curious as to how things will end, with her."**_

_**Edward looked very confused at this point.**_

_**As did Bella.**_

_**I continued to stare at Aro.**_

_**Aro seemed to be convinced.**_

_**He knew that i had no intention of changing my decision.**_

_**However, it seemed that only we were certain.**_

_**An awkward silence cloaked the room.**_

_**Clearing his throat, Edward asked "Are we free to go now?"**_

_**"Yes, of course!" Aro smiled. "Please do visit again. This visit has been, enthralling!"**_

_**"We will be visiting you also" Caius added. Waving his hand absently.**_

_**"To make sure, that your end of the bargain is, upheld." He finished.**_

_**A collective groan, sounded throughout the room.**_

_**"Patience, Heidi will arrive soon - in the mean time, i suggest you leave sooner than later Edward, a few of us are losing patience, accidents do happen. Please wait until after dark though."**_

_**"Of course. Thank you."**_

_**"Here, take this also."**_

_**Aro threw a grey cloak at Edwards's feet.**_

_**"Give my regards to Carlisle. Goodbye young ones." Gesturing with his hand, Aro waved us out.**_

_**We had made it out. Alive.**_

_**Edward none the wiser. It will be like it never happened.**_

_L__ike it never happened...what effect would it have had on Edward, if he had found out?" After of hours, thinking of pointless things to hide from him, could i hide forever? Things were so close in the Volturi's layer. If Aro didn't enjoy mind games. If he didn't revel in the drama, and misery of others, he could have easily let Edward know. I can't do it. I can't live with the guilt. I'll leave. Jasper and i, we can go away for a while. A vacation of sorts, in light of the recent events. A break would be good. Everyone would understand. We'd go for a few months, until everything blows over. Yes._

_I needed to see her. Alone. Just this final time_.

I raced through woods, hardly paying attention to my surroundings, the thing i was racing towards, the girl i was racing toward, the sole focus of my attention. Feeling the cool breeze on my skin, as i pushed against the wind, franticly.

This short journey, seemingly endless.

Breathing heavily, i arrived. Across the road from her house, i heard the wind whistle gently.

Thinking of the girl. Inside. I could swear i felt chills all over my frozen cold body. My still heart, producing a phantom beat.

Jumping up onto her window sill, the frame didn't falter under my weight as i crouched on it, her window was closed tonight. I store through the glass, she looked so peaceful. Her chest rising and falling steadily, i studied her features, she looked serene for the first time since we got back she looked content. Raising my hand, i placed it flat against her window. I could almost feel it, her beating heart against my palm, the heat of her body, emanating off of her in waves, i could hear her blood rushing swiftly beneath the surface of her skin, her undeniably intoxicating scent drifting in the breeze, tilting my head forward, i pressed my forehead against it, and closed my eyes. This thin glass barrier all that separated us. My want for her, my desire, it transcends everything. Every fiber of my being craved her. I _need_ her.

_What am i doing?_

Opening my eyes, exhaling, to clear my clouded head, thoughts of longing and all consuming passion swirling in my mind, i removed my hand, a numbness resulted, both on the surface of my skin, and core of my sole, our connection with out contact, the proximity that was close, but would never be close enough, was severed. Glancing at her one more time, i jumped down from her window, fleeing into the woods, i didn't make any noise that could of woken her, but I'm sure i heard her say my name, as i fled,_ did she sense me there too?_

I crashed into a tree on purpose, the roots shifted under the impact, pounding my fist through the trunk repeatedly, releasing my frustration, the bark shattering, branches raining down around me, birds fluttering in the distance, flying off into the night, the force and shaking of my punches landing, scaring them.

_Does she have any idea what she does to me?_.

Collapsing onto the ground, the scattered pieces of broken wood, surrounding me, pressing my face into my palms in frustration. I released a high pitched cry of pain.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

So Edward's all saved and now. And I get it, its like one minute Bella is all Ilu, then shes all over Edward, but the thing is, he was sorta her first love, sure he has nothing on Alice, but I mean she cant switch off her feelings for him, she still cares about him. Even if he did leave her resulting in her zombie like state of living. Fear not, remember this - Bella realises who is better for her, it's just one of those situations, she's glad hes alive or undead alive :P

Don't worry, she didn't just like fall out of love with Alice cos Eddy boy waltzed back into the picture.

As for Alice, well damn the guilt has gotta be kinda intense right? I know its all angst ridden right now.

Things are sorta tense and confusing for both of them. Trust that in spite of it all, they know what they really want.

Il be updating again soon, i wrote another chapter directly after this, i just dont wanna publish two in a day :D so in about 12 hours, a new chapter will be up

Bella POV.

It felt good, to be back in my own bed. Even if i am alone. The memories of the Volturi, haunting me. Stopping me from sleeping for more than 20 minutes, without jaunting out of it. It wasn't just the way they looked, or the terrifying atmosphere of their underground layer, the way they spoke, their voices, the ruthless malice that they displayed. They seemed a breed apart from the Cullen's, like different creatures altogether.

Aro, the most haunting of them, the way he took delight in pain, Edward's pain. He said things, confusing things. I assume to aggravate Edward. It worked. They aggravated me also. Half the time we spent there, i was busy trying to work out what the hell he was talking about. He was cryptic almost, acting at the same time as though he were omniscient. Knowing more than us.... We got away alive, and that is all that matters, Edward, me and Alice.

We made it back. Knowing that the Volturi will be coming to visit doesn't exactly put me at ease either.

Things could be a lot worse. Had it not been for Alice.

Showing Aro that i would be turned, eventually, by her, in spite of Edwards protest. I needed to speak to her about that, about whether Aro had seen, us...together. If he'd noticed.

If Edward noticed.

_I'm due to see Edward tomorrow, so if he did see, Alice and I, then I'd find out about it soon enough. Either way, we have Alice to thank for our lives. I should thank her face to face, and then discuss, what happens, what is going to happen, what this all means. I haven't spoken to her since we left Volterra, she was unusually distant the whole journey home, i 'spose she had to be, Edward can read her mind. What if he saw? In her mind, when they got home? Or even in the car. Oh my god, what am i going to do._

A bitterly cold wind blew into my room.

Getting up to close my window, i take a deep breath and return to my bed. Edward won't be coming tonight.

_I have to clear my mind, I'll never get any sleep. Maybe i should open my window again. Edward's unpredictable. He could turn up; we've been apart for months. If i do open it, am i sure i even want it to be Edward coming through it? I'm glad to see him. I'm glad he isn't dead. But is he who i really want right now? I wouldn't mind seeing Edward. I think that i need to see Alice though_.

Letting out a loud sigh, i lay flat on my back, turning my head toward the window and closing my eyes. Breathing steadily. _This is relaxing...i wonder whether Alice is still watching me, looking out for me....it feels like she always is, ever since she told me she had searched for me every day...like she is always there, close to me_.

Squinting a little, so i can see the moonlight flood in through my window, _i feel like I'm being watched... I can sense it, its atmospheric almost, like a presence..._

"Alice...?" I say aloud, hoping that it's her I'm feeling

_No answer._

Jumping up from my bed, i look out of the window, _nothing._

Letting out a loud sigh, my heart sinks. My bed doesn't look inviting at all, sinking down against the wall, in the corner of my bedroom; i bring my knees up and wrap my arms around them, burying my face. _I wish she were here...._

I can feel it again, the hole, my breath leaving my body, folding my arms around my torso, i take deep breaths, _Not this again. This was supposed to be gone now. The hole was supposed to heal. I was supposed to catch my breath again, after months of struggling to breathe...i have to talk to her...like now, i can't take the anxiety_

Releasing a small sob, tears start to roll down my face.

_I know what to do._

_**Alice. I'm going to come to your house right now. I decided. Can you see me? This is me deciding to come and see you, unless you get here first, can you hear me? Please say you can. Please come to me, i need to talk to you. I can't breathe when you're not with me.**_

_I have to mean it, let me get up and get dressed. I'll go get some clothes. I will go down there, if that's what it takes._


	16. Chapter 16

I saw New Moon, and all the Alice/Bella moments, i was embarrassingly excited lol

It was awesome, although it could of have more Alice, but then again, the whole film could of been about Alice, i'd of still wanted more :P

Thanks for the reviews :) they are very nice and encouraging, i hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 16.

Alice POV

**_Alice. I'm going to come to your house right now. I decided. C_****_an you see me? This is me deciding to come and see you, unless you get here first, can you hear me? Please say you can. Please come to me, i need to talk to you. I can't breathe when you're not with me._**

"Bella."

Before I'm even aware of what I'm doing, my legs are carrying me across the dark moonlit Forrest, towards her, i don't even have to think about where I'm going. I just go._ I told myself i wouldn't do this. I said I'd see her one final time, but my head isn't ruling me right now, sense is telling me to go home. I've been out all night. My heart, well it isn't letting me choose. It just knows one thing. Bella needs me._

Rain, starts to drop out of the sky, shooting down with the force of a thousand bullets, _typical Forks_, feeling it drench my clothing, i keep running, through the mud, swerving through the damp green moss, running between the tree's, tiny droplets of water falling from the canopy of the Forrest above, water pouring over my face, ice cold wind blowing behind me, _i wish i hadn't run so far, i would of been with her already_, exiting into a clearing, I'm not far now, just the road to clear and I'll be there, sprinting down the road, the rain spraying backwards behind my legs as i run, i come to an abrupt stop. Standing outside, i look up at Bella's window. Rain pounding my face as i do, i push a hand through my hair, trying to clear it from my face, wiping the water from my eyes, with the back of my hands. _here i am._ Jumping up onto the window ledge, i knock quietly on the glass, the downpour coating her window, i can only see her, a blur behind the sheet of water, coming towards the window, sliding it open, glancing at me, her affectionate eyes concentrated on mine.

"Alice..." Bella say's my name, seeming almost surprised to see me

"You came..." she continues.

"Yes, of course i did"

In a crouched position, i move my arm to lean on the ledge of her window. A cascade of rain, still beating against my body.

"You should come in...Its freezing out there...and you're like drenched." She says, looking a little dazed.

"Thank you."

Stepping into her room, i turn to close the window behind me, noticing the goose bumps covering the surface of her arms, the cold obviously bothering her a lot more than it does me.

"It looks like a storm out there..."

"Yeah" i reply. Uneasily.

She's biting her bottom lip, staring down at the floor, looking a little nervy.

"Are you okay? I saw you, in a vision, you looked...distressed."

"Yeah, i was...over reaction i guess...better now that your here though." She added, her lips turning upwards, a small smile forming, her eyes looking up to meet mine

Small drips of excess water tumbling from my clothes onto her floor, forming a little pool of moisture where I'm standing.

Smiling back at her, i notice her shiver a little

"You should get underneath the covers, you look freezing, and you could get sick..."

"I'm fine...do you want a towel or something? Only you're soaked, and i have some clothes you can borrow, not what _you consider clothing_, but uh they're dry..."she said

"You don't have to-"

"Alice, your all wet, you must be cold, if not cold then a little uncomfortable, we should get you out of those clothes...i know you don't get sick, but it must not feel great, having your rain soaked clothes cling to your body like that"

"Yeah, dry clothes, that sounds good, thanks" i replied, flashing a small smile.

"Give me a second; I'll just go get you a towel from the bathroom..."

_I'm a little confused, she wanted to talk, i wanted to talk to her to, but were sitting here making awkward small talk...this situation isn't difficult to understand at all...what does she want__ from me?"_

"Here you go you can burn these when you get home if you want" she said, chuckling, after handing me a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, and a black t-shirt

"I know it's not really your style..." she continued, a full smile on her face now

"I won't burn them, these are wearable, at least" i replied, giggling.

Brushing the towel through my hair to dry it, Bella sat quietly on the edge of her bed, fidgeting nervously with the edge of her purple comforter, the silence wasn't helping.

"Wow...its 3.40, in the morning, that's pretty late huh?" Bella said, making small talk.

"Yeah...I'm going to get changed now."

"Okay" the word getting stuck in her throat, she swallowed nervously, turning her body to face the headboard, looking away.

Undoing the buttons of my Coat, i removed it placing it in the chair in corner of the room, the black cotton crew neck i was wearing, was soaked through, tugging it over my shoulders, i placed it on top of the coat, picking up the towel i began to dry my body, still damp from the rain.

Covering my bare front with the towel, i turned to Bella

"Where should i put these wet clothes? Do i just leave them here?"

Getting up off of the bed, she walked towards where i was standing, not more than a few centimetres from me, she reached past me, to pick up the wet items from the chair, when she straightened out, we were directly facing each other, looking down at me, she ran a hand through her hair, chewing on her lower lip.

"I guess I'll...uh...uhm...what am i supposed to be doing?" she stumbled.

"Putting the wet clothes away..." i manage to say, uneasy because of her proximity.

"Right."

Dropping the wet clothes unexpectedly, she folded her arm around my hips, and drew me inches away from her face. Releasing a small breath, pausing to look at me, her eyes fell closed, she touched her lips to mine hesitantly.

_I didnt see that coming._

The kiss begun tenderly but it didnt take long for it to grow fervent.

Still holding the towel across my front with one arm, i used my other, pushing my hand into her hair, and pulling her further in response, the kiss growing more intense.

The heat of her hands, against my bare back, making me shiver, freeing my other hand, trapped between our bodies, i place it against her neck, the towel that was covering me, falling to the floor.

The point of my tongue licked across her lips, begging entrance, her own tongue meeting mine, caressing it gently.

Forcing her backwards, her body hitting the wall behind us, i break the kiss, and begin a trail of kisses, starting under her chin, pressing my lips softly, against her heated skin, feeling the blood rush wildly beneath the surface, my mouth reaching the hollow point of her neck, letting my tongue dip out of my mouth, using the front of my tongue i lick slowly upwards, over her velvety skin, her heart pounding faster, she drags her hand over my exposed back, stopping when it is buried in my hair, using the underside of my tongue, i slide it downwards over her neck, she whimpers at this, releasing her hand from my hair, she raises both hands in the air, looking at me, she tilts her head, giving a small nod, of permission.

I grab the edge of her white cotton tank top, tugging it up, over her shoulders, i can see her eyes roll over my exposed front as i do so; she captures her bottom lip in her mouth again, biting it anxiously.

Moving my head to the nook of her neck, i brush my face, along its length, reaching her earlobe i lick at it a little, grabbing it with my teeth, and pulling away, a quiet groan, sticks in her throat, i press my body tightly against hers, the heat that i find so intoxicating, warming my own body, to a point of bliss.

Kissing across her collar bone, i feel a stirring low in my stomach, showering kisses down between the valley of her breast, i suck at the supple flesh there, gasping she presses my head forward, her hands still tangled in my hair, urging me on, changing my path, sliding my tongue over the underside of her breast, withdrawing my tongue when my mouth is level with her hardened nipple, i gently trap it between my teeth, tugging gently, i feel Bella's body quiver.

Her back arching off the wall, she pushes me forward, and moves off of the wall, taking my hand, she leads me to her bed, sitting down on it, she begins crawling backwards, her hand still grasping mine, she pulls me with her, lying flat on her back, her legs open, i crawl in between, placing my two arms on either side of her for balance, and drop my head to continue where i left off, pursing my lips around her nipple, i suck on it gently, the tip of my tongue circling it, dropping down to balance on one arm, my other hand moves to rub her other nipple, my thigh falling between her open legs, pressing against her core, feeling the heat against my thigh, i feel the building pressure in my own.

A fine sheen of sweat is now coating her own body, both of her hands on my head, i dip forward to lock her in a passionate kiss, taking in the taste of her tongue, i open my eyes, looking into hers, i see the longing, the lust in her eyes, things that are reflected in my own, my desire for her is all consuming.

My finger tips sliding up and down her side, "Alice.." her voice barely a whisper,.."Please", she swallows hard, "i want you to...to...i want you.

Placing another kiss on her lips, she doesn't need to say anymore, i whisper softly "i want you too" in her ear, scraping my nails across the length of her stomach, leaving a trail of goose bumps on the smooth flesh, my index finger finding the top of her pants, i hook my finger into the band, and tug them down, past her hips, along her thighs, her breathing laboured, her chest rising rapidly, she release's a moan, that vibrates through her body, her eyes fluttering, i remove them completely and toss them aside.

Looking up at her, her eyes still closed, i move my hand up to the hem of her underwear, and taking it between my thumb and index finger, i drag it down, her underwear slipping slowly off, the smell of her arousal hits me, my head begins swirling, inhaling deeply, her scent thrills me, making me incredibly wet, i drag my head slowly over the length of her body, making barely any contact, just ghosting lightly over her smooth skin, breathing in her intoxicating scent, when i reach her neck, i flick my tongue out, over her heated flesh, licking the underside of her neck, up to her bottom lip, locking her lips with mine, my mouth stops to hover over the spot behind her ear, i release a warm, moist, breath against her skin, making her shudder.

My free hand rubbing the inside of her thigh, scraping up and down lightly, each scrape getting closer to her core, her moisture spreading down to her thighs, "are you ready?" i ask in her ear, she pauses, breathing heavily, "i won't hurt you, i promise" she nods her head, then throws it backwards as i slide one finger over the length of her slit, a broken moan escaping her throat, her hands grabbing the headboard behind her, her back arching upwards, searching for more friction, i allow two fingers to glide over the length of her inviting core, and flick the tip of my finger swiftly over her clit, she groans loudly in response, her excitement coating my fingers, she continues rolling her hips against my hand, her hands gripping the headboard tightly, i push one finger inside her, retracting it and pushing it forward again slowly with a little more pressure, raining small kisses over her neck, i push a second finger in, with slightly more force.

"Oh god...Alice" she exclaims breathlessly, her moans increasinging, i work up a steady rhythm, finally pushing my fingers as far as they can go, she releases a cry of ecstasy, her hips bucking underneath me, timing the thrust's of my hands with the movement of my thumb, moving softly over her clit, i can tell she is close, the sensual sounds escaping her, her arousal spreading over my hands, the smell of her in the air, the expression on her face, biting down on her bottom lip, is enough to push me over the edge with her, her panting and groans become wilder, pumping my fingers as deep as i can manage, looking into her eyes, still stroking her clit with my thumb, more forcefully now, "oh god, oh my....." the words falling from her mouth breathlessly, her mouth drops open, she lets out a sharp gasp, pushing the headboard that she is gripping tightly, throwing her head back, her eyes squeezing shut, feeling her inner muscles clench around my fingers, she exhales sharply, her chest presses tightly against me, her hips crash into mine, and the waves of an orgasm, wash over us both, i press a forceful kiss to her mouth, capturing the loud cry of passion in my mouth, her hips still grinding underneath me, both of us moving in the same rhythm, and within this moment, we're one, our bodies perfectly synchronised, swaying to the pounding of her single heart, as we come down from the peak, the waves of rapturous pleasure decreasing in their intensity, i remove my hand, her breathing heavy and laboured, she continues panting into my neck.

My eyes still closed, remembering everything i can about this moment, being lost in Bella, and never wanting to leave, taking it all in. I move over to lie down beside her, pulling her sheets over her, whilst she recovers. I kiss her shoulder gently, leaving soft little bites all over it. Her eyes barely open, she turns on her side, eyes focused intently on mine, leaning forward to kiss me, her eyes close, resting her hand on my stomach, her head on my shoulder. Within minutes, she's asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks for all the reviews, they are really nice, and encouraging too, this is a real short chapter, i plan on updating soon though, maybe in a day or so :)

and sorry about the unexpected turn in the last story, i guess i shoulda put a warning or something lol

I hope you enjoy it, review if you can, thanks for following my story :D

Disclaimer: Since i haven't written one in a while. I dont own Twilight, or its characters. I wont write an if i did, 'cause things could get naughty ;)

Chapter 17.

Bella POV

Opening my eyes and squinting a little whilst i adjusted to the light, i moved my hand to brush my hair from my face, when it ran over cool skin, brushing against it softly, it left me with a refreshing tingle, making the tiny hairs on my arms stand on end .

Remembering who i was with, a smile broke across my face, peering upwards, there she was, her eyes closed, her face wearing a peaceful expression, beams of golden sunshine projected through the window, highlighting her bare body. Her firm but gentle grip caressing my upper body, the proximity of our bodies, entwined, left me with a compelling sensation; small goose bumps coated the surface of my skin.

I ran my hand across her body again, tracing little lines in strokes across her shoulder. She opened her eyes, wearing an angelic smile.

"Good morning"

"Hey Ali Ali Alice" I replied, playfully.

"Ali Ali Alice?" She asked grinning

"Yeah...im just teasing – and now im suddenly very aware that im naked." I felt my skin flush all over.

"Is that a bad thing?" Alice enquired.

"Nope. I forgot i was, so it was sorta unexpected – but good unexpected. A little odd. I mean im naked, in bed...with you.

She didn't say anything in response, she continued smiling, turning on her side to look at me.

I couldn't help but be mesmerised every time that i looked into her eyes, the deeply liquid topaz color, so beautiful, intricate colors, the various shades of gold, remind of the ambient colors of rare gemstones. Her black pupils, the little holes, windows into her soul, i could get lost looking into them.

The sharp tingle of pins and needles in my arm made me twitch.

"Ugh!"

"Ugh?" she said, questioning

"Huh?"

"You grunted?" she raised her eyebrow, clearly a little confused.

"Dead arm." I couldn't help but smile, she seemed so fascinated by the tiniest things.

"Oh, right" she spoke softly, pulling me tighter into her embrace.

Its surprising how comfortable the silence is, i could remain like this forever, basking. Nothing had ever felt this good, i could think of a million clichéd things to compare it to, not even caring that they were clichéd, just taking the moments in, watching her smile at me with her eyes closed. _So Adorable._

"Toothbrush" i remarked aloud. A little bewildered by how caught in the moment i was.

" Oh Bella, your pillow talk is so romantic" she giggled to herself, brushing my hair out of my face and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

Alice POV

The emotion of having spent the night with Bella was incomparable to any other that i had experienced. The only other emotion that i could compare, that was any near as powerful, well i felt that last night.

Watching her smile at me, listening to her make what was actually extremely cute small talk. The feeling is...wonderful. My arm resting against her lower back, our faces inches apart, i traced patterns across her soft skin, feeling the small intricate lines and crevices, under my touch. The warmth that her body emitted comforting me, our bodies not in full contact, but her heat flushed over me, a feeling akin to putting my hands over a fire, stealing its glowing warmth only in this instance i wasn't stealing the heat, i was sharing it, Bella donating her precious warmth to me.

"What time is it?" she asked, chewing her bottom lip, still slightly smiling.

Looking over at the clock. 7_.00...school starts soon....Edward!_

"Its 7oclock but Bella, Edward will be here soon won't he?"

"Edward." She whispered, averting her gaze for the first time since she had woken up.

"I should leave. I've got to go get ready, you should to, and please could you hurry and wait outside for Edward before he arrives, if he comes in here...he will know...what happened"

"Shouldnt we talk about...what this all means?" she hesitantly.

"Yes....later okay."

Swiftly shooting around the room, i dressed quickly.

Sitting back down on Bella's bed, she was still curled up underneath the covers, practically glowing, although the smile she had worn earlier had faded.

She sat up, holding the covers to her front and looking at me.

Leaning forward, i drew her into a kiss.

Pulling away after realising that time was ticking, "I love you.

"I love you too Alice."

"See you at school." I smiled, before jumping out of the window and off into the woods.


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks for reviewing, adding to alerts and favourites :D its all very encouraging

Hope you enjoy this chapter :) review if you have time

A/n

In reading this chapter please bear in mind, although Alice might have just had like the best night ever, sleeping with your brothers girl, isn't something to take lightly, especially when he is convinced the girl is his soul mate, and there is only so long the "afterglow" and warm fuzzy feelings can last before the gravity of the situation hits you. I mean she has two reasons to feel guilty. Jasper and Edward. People who she love immensely. Alice may be a little self sacrificing, but just like with Edward, love sort of blinds you from seeing logic, resulting in the altruistic behaviour. Just think, wouldn't you be self condemning if you had slept with your brothers girlfriend, whilst also married.

Its angsty I know :P

Chapter 18.

Alice POV.

Leaving the house, as soon as I hit the woods, thirst hit me like a freight train. My throat was ablaze, low guttural growls escaped my stomach, _I cant go to school like this, I'll have to be late._ A searing cramp tore through my stomach, causing my knee's to buckle under me. Wrapping my arms around my stomach, and gripping it tightly, I've never really felt physical pain, but this feeling was agony, it's a sensation akin to not having fed in months.

Picking up the distinct scent of a herd of deer in the distance, I picked myself up, stumbling at first, the stinging pain still shooting through me, I should still be able to hunt. I dashed forwards with as much speed as I could muster, locking onto the smell, letting it guide me, I caught up the the herd. Luckily they were very young deer. Easy to catch. I lunged forwards, my teeth clamping down around the torso of the biggest, I let the streams of liquid crimson pour down my throat.

After having replenished myself, draining the whole herd. I returned to the house, it was deserted, the scents of everyone were very faded. _Where is everyone?_

I strode in to the living room, calling out - no answer. Glancing up at the clock I noticed the time.

"Quarter to 3?!" _How on earth was I gone for so long?…I promised I'd see Bella at school , I'll have to go to her house soon instead…just enough time for me to shower and get dressed before she gets home at 3.45_

I stepped into the shower, running the water as hot as it would go, letting the steam fill the room, I breathed it in deeply, the warmth was comforting, it reminded me of her. The heat made me feel…content. I could just stay here, and let the heat engulf me, but the real thing is waiting for me, the root of my of my fulfilment is a 10 minute journey away.

I picked out an outfit to wear, for once not paying much attention whilst doing so. I glided toward the closet where I kept my vast collection of shoes. Hearing the front door slide open, I walked toward the hallway - _Jasper._

"Alice.." he called out.

"Jazz…"

Within seconds he was in the bedroom, standing a few feet away, he swiftly brushed his honey blond hair that was obstructing his eyes, behind his ears.

"Good morning, or should I say good afternoon" he chuckled lightly

".." I paused not knowing how to respond, knowing the question of my whereabouts was inevitable, I didn't need to look into the future to see that one coming.

"I 'spose I don't need to ask where you were last night…" he drawled.

_Or he could just not ask…_

"Huh?" I scrunched up my nose and put on my best confused face, knowing that he found it adorable.

"Your emotions, you seem satisfied, also a lil' guilty"

"Jasp-"

"Its ok, there is no need to feel guilty." He cut me off.

_Does he know, he cant know…her scent isn't on me, and he is alone so Edward cant have found out and told him, he must mean something else._

"there isn't?"

"No, its fine, I know you hadn't hunted since you left forks with Bella, I don't mind that you stayed out all night, and you musta needed some time to yourself anyhow"

_Oh. He thinks I was hunting the whole time._

I swallowed hard, trying to compress any extreme reaction, he must of noticed the air of panic earlier. I hope he didn't think anything of it.

"Thank you for understanding Jazz…how was your day? I hope you didn't miss me too much"

Trying to change the subject, I flashed him my signature grin, I knew quite well how to break through Jaspers tough exterior with relative ease, he always relaxed at the sight of a smile or cute expression from me.

He walked over, pressing a tentative kiss to my cheek, his cold hands rested on either side of my hips, the icy chill of his skin was more noticeable, when I had spent my entire night, feeling like my skin was ablaze.

"Alice, I'll always miss you, even if we are apart for a few minutes, but I can manage, good enough." his accent sounded particularly pronounced when he spoke the last two words, a smirk played on his lips.

I didn't respond, instead I hugged him tightly, and then floated back toward the bed, I never really felt the need to rush around when I was indoors, I picked up the pair of shoes that I had chosen before Jasper arrived, and slipped them on.

"Are you going out again darlin?" he asked me, his eyebrow arched.

"Yes, but only for a short time, I'll be back before you know it" I winked at him, and with that skipped out the window.

I stopped a couple of hundred yard's from the window, looking at Jasper relax onto the bed, our bed. His amber eyes shifting around the room, even when he was relaxing he remained poised. He sat perfectly still, he looked like he was waiting for something, he was waiting for me.

_Im an essential part of his existence, I give him purpose, im his strength and his salvation, his patience is unwavering, just as mine had been whilst I waited for him, I didn't dream that I could ever love another like I love him. He was all I could see for such a long time, then it started over 2 years ago, 8 months before any of us had met Bella, she was the new regular feature of my visions, small tidbits of information, short flashes of her here and there, as the time for her to move to forks drew closer, they were no longer flashes of her, there were scenes, and emotions attached to the scenes, and a sense of knowing a person who id never met, and the anticipation, the want for her to be part of my life, at the time I only recognised it as being in a friendly capacity, that didn't lessen my love for her, I made a point of it to Edward, I told him that he would never love anyone as much as I loved her._

I could see Jasper get off of the bed, and stride toward the dresser, and run his hands over the wood frame of a picture, a picture of us. The frozen image of us as newly weds. I could see the smile evident on his face. His eyes were so rarely animated, but his expression illustrated the depth of his love.

_Prior to this moment, a moment that to anyone else would hold no significance, I hadn't really felt torn, I knew that I loved him, but my mind was made up of Bella and Bella alone, and the guilt I felt, the majority of it was about Edward. I had forgotten about my devout husband, his love unwavering. When did I miss this? I couldn't even spare a thought for the man I married. Not a single thought, I didn't just betray him physically, I betrayed him emotionally too. This is a big thing, you do not just forget your husband, that isn't right_.

I can feel the singe of burning tears in my eyes, they'd never fall, but they were building and my throat is getting uncomfortably tight, and my jaw is clenching and the pain and the guilt is physically manifesting itself, and im only too aware of that fact. The silence of being alone with my thoughts, _these _thoughts, is the most deafening sound ive ever heard.

_I cant do it to him, not Jasper, not after…everything. I love Bella, but she's like quicksand, shes consuming me, all of me, and im sinking so fast, and I need to stop sinking, before im too deep. She's claiming me, everything that I am. I cant allow myself to disappear, to let myself fall so deep that I don't want to stop, its started and if I don't get out now, pain. Pain will be the result, I'll hurt Jasper, and I'll hurt Edward, and I'll hurt Bella, and nothing will be able to mend their hearts. In the long run, it's better for everyone, and realising this now, its better than later. Love isn't supposed to tear me, her, anyone apart, but it will, it will crash into us all, like a storm, it will crash through our lives ruining everything and we're all going to get lost in the destruction, and the damage will be irreparable. It will happen because of me. I have to end things now. The timing isn't perfect, its as far from perfect as it could be, or maybe its not…I know what to say, I know how to finish it._


	19. Chapter 19

Sorry for the slowness in updating, I usually update much faster, I've been really busy.

Really, short chapter, I know, I'll update with another in a few days though, its already written, I just have to find the time to come online.

Chapter 18

Bella POV

I peered out the window of the car, moving swiftly along the road, unusually after the rain last night, the weather is oddly pleasant, not exactly a Malibu beach but warm and dry still. It's nice, temporary obviously, but nice nonetheless.

_That was quite possibly the longest day in school ever. I need to find out why Alice didn't come in, Edward was as usual, carrying on with his trademark stoicism. He didn't seem at all concerned with Alice's absence. Driving, his mind seemingly miles away as usual, I very much doubt we are thinking about the same things. Well unless he is thinking about his sister, even so probably not in the way that I had been thinking about her all day, reminiscing, waiting to see her again. I really wish she had come in today, the fairly enjoyable weather aside, the day as a whole was miserable, and unbelievably boring. The only thing that kept me entertained were my thoughts of her, I'd be home soon enough though, and I can call her, and I can see her, and I can kiss her and I can-_

"Bella…?" Edward cut me off, interrupting what would have been a very entertaining train of thought.

"Yes?" I asked, sighing deeply.

"Emmett, and Jasper and I, will be going hunting this evening, well I assume Jasper is coming but what with Alice's absense im not sure, either way, I wont be with you this evening, but I will be back by tonight."

"Okay?" I asked, not quite seeing the point, or importance of his statement.

"I thought I ought to let you know where I would be, and that I would be returning very soon. I wont be gone for long, I promise."

"Okay, thank's for letting me know." I replied, smiling at him.

_Well Edwards absence should be helpful, I want to spend time with Alice…talking, and other things. Time for both, considering he will be away._

The car came to an abrupt stop, I peered upwards seeing that we were in my drive way, _finally._

Edward leaned forward's and placed a kiss on my jaw.

"I will see you tonight love." He said, looking into my eyes, smiling crookedly.

"Yeah, see you tonight…bye."

I hopped out of the car, giving Edward a little wave, I turned to the door, hearing the car pull away behind me, I opened the door and ran straight up the stairs. I pushed my door open swiftly, I couldn't get to the phone fast enough. I jumped back startled, there Alice was sitting on my bed.

"Bella…lets talk."


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for reading/reviewing, i appreciate it so much, continue to do so if you can :)

Im apologising about the angsty-ness (also about my bad grammer) i promise things get better, im sort of a storm before the calm type of girl, as opposed to calm before the storm. I dont think that if i were to write the story and everything was all happy, and just fell into place, that it would be at all realistic, but please just bear with me :)

Chapter 19.

Bella POV.

"Bella…lets talk." Alice stated, in a tone that was a little more blunt than usual.

"ALICE!…you scared me, but I'm glad you're here, why weren't you in school today? I missed you, and yeah we should talk, lets talk." I said smiling at her, something which was just habitual now.

"About last night-"

I hopped on to the bed excitedly and wrapped my arms around her, cutting her off, but I had been waiting all day to do it. She removed my arms from around her, and pushed herself off of the bed, settling into the chair in the corner.

I looked up at her, confused.

"Alice?"

" Please Bella just listen, let me explain some things."

"Okay." I replied, giving her a small nod.

She cleared her throat, and her eyes were focused on mine.

"Last night, it was about timing. I came back to forks, when I thought you had died…and we'd had very little time to even begin to thoroughly process all of our feelings about everything, then we ended up rushing off to Italy to save Edward, and that whole experience well it wasn't pleasant to say the least, we were faced with death, and then we got out, alive-"

I saw her swallow deeply, her face was unreadable.

"-and we got back, and we hadn't spoken about the _events_ that transpired prior to us going. We didn't have a chance to, and emotion's were running unbelievably high, like they hadn't been already they were especially elevated by this stage…and I think that all of the unspoken emotion's and feelings, got the best of us…and I think that's why, what happened last night, happened."

I looked up at her, extremely confused, not understanding why she said or even thought that.

"Alice…what are you saying?"

"Bella, we just after everything that had happened in such a short space of time, we were both glad to see each other, and we manifested that in…a physical act of love."

I couldn't quite form any words, I was trying to get them out, but it wasn't working very well. I took a deep breath.

"Alice, no that's not what…that's not why-"

"Bella, I was glad to see you alive, and I hadn't had a chance, to adequately express that, and then after our brush with the Volturi, I think that feeling was elevated even more, because I love you, but not…like that."

For the first time, her eyes dropped to the ground, and she sighed deeply.

_does she really mean all of this, a couple of hours ago, everything was fine and now…this?_

I noticed the cold streaks of tears running over my skin, I hadn't even realised I was crying, and my chest was heaving, I could feel all of the oxygen leaving my lungs.

"Alice no…it wasn't like that, not at all….and this morning, you said- and last night…and before Italy…and you-"

I could feel myself begin to hyperventilate, and stutter and everything I wanted to say wouldn't come out, it was all too much, I gave in and just began to sob.

"Bella, please don't cry… we just analysed our emotions too much…or not enough. Everything was just confusing, and it was down to all of the conflicting emotions. That's what it was…just think about it…and you'll see-"

"NO! It wasn't like that, it was not like that, not for me…and I know Alice, I know that it wasn't like that for you, don't even begin to try and say it was like that." I practically screamed at her.

She paused, looking up at her, I could see the pained expression on her face. She was lying or making excuses…I don't know what, she didn't mean it she couldn't of meant it.

"You didn't mean it Alice, tell me you didn't mean it-"

"Bella."

"Don't do that, don't do that, do not try and patronise me right now, I can hear it in your voice - please Alice…just tell me, please, say it, I need to her you say it." I began begging her between cries, and shallow breaths.

She got up, her eyes fixed firmly in front of her.

"Edward's coming, he's back early." she said.

"I don't want to keep hurting you Bella…just..im going to-"

"Alice-" I cut her off, my voice broken and raspy, from the burn of the cries.

"I _need_ you to tell me…that you were just…I don't know what…just please." I continued, pulling my arms around my torso, my eyes straining to stay open, my throat so tight that I could barely inhale.

"-Edwards coming….and-"

"I don't care if Edward Is coming, I mean it just tell me, okay, you have to…please, please…please." my voice broken, even I could hear the defeat in my tone.

Alice turned to face the window, she had begun breathing deeply, not that she needed to breath.

"He's almost here Bella, I have to go, not just right now but-" she turned toward me, and walked over, she took my hand in hers, gripping it softly, using the back of her fingers, she pushed the tears away from my eyes, and looked into them. Her eyelids closed softly, her lips parted slightly and she placed a kiss on my lips, before I had the chance to kiss back, she moved her face and pushed it into my neck. Then she was gone.

The window was left open, the wind that had been so warm and pleasant earlier on, now felt bitter and icy. I felt my heart sink into my stomach, and I fell onto my side against the matress, and I couldn't do anything but cry into my comforter.

I was sure I heard something, after she was gone, she said something but I didn't hear it. I don't know what, I'll ask her…because we will talk about this properly and she will listen to me, not now right now, her word's were still swirling endlessly in my mind, and I will cry all the pain they left, out.


	21. Chapter 21

**First of all, i want to apologise profusely, for not having updated in so long. i haven't spent much time on my computer since the holidays started, i only began writing again a few days ago.**

**I will be writing some more now that i am back, i hope the wait hasn't put the readers off.**

**I know the ending of the last chapter was all angst ridden, but everything can't be all perfect with rainbows and sunshine and bunnies straight away, it takes time, but its usually worth the wait, no? :)**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, review if you can.**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. Or the story, or the brand, or anything related to Twilight...thats such a depressing fact.**

Chapter 20.

Alice POV

"I didn't mean it…" I managed to choke out as I leapt through Bellas window.

_Edward will know I've been here, he will know that I upset Bella, no she wont tell him, and why is this even important? I just left the girl I love in a state, and all I want to do is go back and hold her, and I want to stay…but Jasper, Edward._

"Get out now, so it hurts less in the long run. Get out now, so it hurts less in the long run. Get out now, so it hurts less in the long run." I began repeating to myself, trying to clear the overwhelming doubt out of my mind.

Realising I was standing directly outside of Bella's house, I sprinted towards the woods. Running far enough that Edward wouldn't bother to follow me, after all I hadn't seen or spoken to him since yesterday evening, he would of wanted to talk to me. About Bella, no doubt.

I ran back toward the house, as fast as I could, I want to be gone before Edward returns.

_Jasper and I, we'll leave, just for a while. Just long enough to forget, to let the feelings fade enough. Carlisle and Esme will understand, who wouldn't want a "vacation" after all that had gone on. Jasper wont mind leaving with me._

I arrived a few yards from the house. Looking upwards, I put on my best smile, hoping the others wouldn't notice. Taking a few calming breaths, to try and even out my emotions, I entered the house.

Jasper immediately appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Your back." He said, smiling that trademark slight smile of his.

"Yes, I said I would be back soon didn't I?" I returned the smile, taking his hand in mine.

"Alice?" I hear Esme call from the kitchen.

With Jaspers hand in mine, I skipped toward the kitchen, trying to appear upbeat as I normally would.

I walked over to Esme, giving her a firm hug.

"Sorry that I was gone for so long." I spoke, cheerily.

"Jasper explained about you needing to hunt earlier on. Don't worry about it." She replied, in her gentle voice.

"Okay, I'm glad up aren't upset…how was your day?"

After making small talk with Esme, I lead Jasper up stairs, needing to talk to him about going away for a while, I still hadn't decided on where exactly, but the destination didn't matter much as long as I would be far away from…temptation.

I sat down on the bed, and gestured for him to sit next to me. I could see by his expression that he could sense something was off.

He strolled over, and sat down next to me, taking my hand into his.

"Jasper, everything has been so overwhelming lately. All of the drama with Edward and the Volturi, I know it's not an ideal time, but I would like to get away for a while, perhaps a few months?"

"What ever you want Alice, I agree that some time apart from the family would be nice, it might not be great timing, but I'm sure every one will understand."

"Really?" I asked, not expecting him to agree.

"Yes, is there anywhere specifically that you want to go?"

"Surprise me." I said, smiling at him.

"Well that's going to be hard work, ain't it?" He drawled back, chuckling.

***

After packing all the things we would need, I called everyone in the house, and asked them to come downstairs, Jasper stood behind me, his hand resting on my back.

A few seconds later and the whole of my family, bar Edward who was probably with Bella, were standing around us.

"Is something wrong?" Esme asked, looking concerned.

"No, not at all, I just wanted to let you all know that I would be going away for a while." I said in a reassuring tone, "Jasper and I will be going away." I corrected.

Carlisle slid his arm around Esme, who had a look of disappointment on her face.

_I felt terrible for leaving at a time when the whole family had just been reunited, but surely they would understand my reasoning, or my lie of a reason._

"I know that it's not the perfect time, but after everything that has happened, I would just like some time away from the situation, it's been very hard to deal with, I don't intend to be gone long, 2 months maximum." I addressed everyone.

"If you feel like you need respite, then I have no problems with your leaving, although we will need to think of a reason to cover your absence from school." Carlisle, spoke smiling at me.

"Thank you Carlisle."

"When are you leaving shortie?" Emmett asked, grinning goofily as usual.

"Well, we wanted to leave now, I know Edwards not here, but I suspect he will want to spend time with Bella, and I don't want to interrupt that."

"Thanks for the three minute warning." Rosalie scoffed.

"Aww I'll miss you too Rose." I cooed at her.

Just then Edward returning, barraging into the room with a face like thunder.

"What did you say to her?!" He shouted at me.

I struggled to keep my thoughts focused, and I looked up at him confused.

"Bella, what on earth did you say to her, I went to see her and she was in a state, crying and she wouldn't talk, she wouldn't let me hold her, and she asked me to leave, you were the last person around her Alice - Tell me what you said!" He barked at me.

Jasper stepped out in front of me, he was using his emotion to calm Edward down.

"Edward, I didn't say anything to Bella." I lied.

"Jasper and I are going away for a few months, and I went over to her house earlier to let her know that I would be going, she did seem quiet upset by it, but im sure she will be okay." I added, the guilt making my gut wrench.

"You can't go now. Bella clearly has some abandonment issues, and I'm not going to let you leave and open old wounds."

"Carlisle has already permitted me to go Edward." I replied flatly.

Edward spun his head to Carlisle, his face wearing a pained expression.

Carlisle nodded at him, to communicate that he did agree.

"No, this isn't right. This can't happen, I don't want Bella to feel like she did for all those months. I am protesting this, this is a stupid and selfish idea."

"Contrary to your own beliefs Edward, everything isn't about you. You left her, so the abandonment issues she has are related to that, you hurt her, with your own selfishness. Do not expect me to put my life on hold, so that I can help you, I have done enough for you in the past couple of days alone, and I really want some time away from your pathetic melodrama!" I shouted at him.

"Alright both of you calm down, Edward, I agree that Alice deserves some time to herself. Do not forget how she has helped you and Bella to get back together. I am sure that Bella will be fine soon, perhaps you should spend some time with her, and reassure her that Alice will be returning."

_I really need to get out of here. I really need to get out of here._

"Fine. Leave. I am going to see Bella. Jasper I will see you soon, have a safe Journey."

And with that Edward was gone, leaving the from sporting his trademark scowl of gloom."

"God, he's such a baby." I muttered out.

"Alice, please, let's just say goodbye nicely now?" Esme said.

I hugged everyone in turn, Jasper hugged Esme and Rose, Choosing to give Emmett and Carlisle manly pat's on the back.

We left the house, throwing our suitcases into the back of Jasper's car.

Pulling out into the driveway, we stopped to wave at everyone, now standing in the window to watch us leave, and then Jasper drove, through the long roads of forks.

I_ hadn't bothered to even look for Jaspers decision about where to take us, I didn't particularly care, I just knew I wanted to be away from here, and right here with her at the same time. I'd never really been altruistic, but I honestly couldn't bare to hurt everyone around me, if they found out, It would tear the family apart, and I can't do it to them._

Bella POV

_Edward had left in a mood, muttering something about Alice, I hope he doesn't know, he can't, she had been here, but she comes here a lot. Unless she let it slip with her thoughts, but she was careful, and they hadn't seen each other all day. I should go to the Cullen's house, get this sorted out, Alice has to talk to me, whatever she said earlier on, she can't have meant it, I know she didn't, she loved me, she told me before even last night, she meant it when she said it, I know she did. She wouldn't of said it if she didn't? It's Alice she isn't that cruel._

My face felt stiff as a result of the tears that had dried, my throat dry and sticky, I had broken down completely, I could still feel the ache of Alice's words, they had been too painful to hear, but after actually thinking about it, I knew she was just wrong, and I could convince her of it, when I had the chance.

Edward appeared sitting on my window.

_Why did I leave that open?_

"Edward, your back?" I whispered out, my throat pained.

"Yes. I went to talk to Alice, I'm sorry I left in such a terrible mood." he spoke softly.

He appeared next to me, pressing a kiss against the top of my head.

"What did Alice say?" I asked, my head still dropped.

"We had a falling out over it."

"You guys had a fight?"

"Just a small argument, a disagreement of sorts. Don't worry about it."

"No Edward, I don't want you guys to argue over me. Let's go to your house, I can fix it." I said, hoping to use it as an opportunity to talk to Alice

"Bella, it's okay Alice and I have fought in the past, it will work itself out."

"But-"

"But nothing, I promise you love, it was only a small argument, I simply informed her that I didn't agree with her leaving, and I wanted her to stay, she was adament that she wanted to leave though, and Carlisle had already granted her and Jasper permission, so my hands were tied." he replied, cutting me off.

_Alice left? Left where? With jasper?_

"What?! Edward when did she leave? Where has she gone?!" I shouted at him.

"She left shortly after I returned here, she told me that she had visited you earlier and let you know that she would be going, I want to apologise for her not saying goodbye properly, I didn't ask where she was going."

_She didn't tell me she was leaving, she didn't tell me anything. How could she lie like that_?

"She left..forks?" I asked.

"Yes, I know how close both of you are Bella, I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you, but I think it's best that you stop asking, and accept it. I understand that the effect my leaving had on you was severe, and I will work hard to gain your forgiveness, but don't fret, you will see her again. I want you to know, that i will be here with you as long as you want me, i won't leave your side, i will never allow you to be hurt in any way, not even by me, i'd sooner die than hurt you again.

_I could hear Edward trail off into a monologue which was probably laced with Cliché's and outdated language, all I had heard of the sentence was his confirmation, she had left forks, and she didn't let me know she was going, she lied to Edward, and she didn't even let me know she was going, after I told her what happened the first time, after she didn't say goodbye, she is doing it again?_

I felt the heat of fresh tears running down my cheeks, I pulled my legs up into my body, wrapping my arms around them, and buring my head against my knee's, I couldn't control the tears falling from my eyes, or the low sobs escaping my throat, Edward layed his hand on my shoulder, which I shrugged off stubbornly, I didn't want his comfort.

"Bella…" he sighed.

"Edward please…" I swallowed deeply. "I just, want to sleep…" I drew the words out.

_I _ _couldn't sit up and cry anymore. I just wanted to sleep, make it go away, make the tears burning my eyes, the fire in my throat, and the pain in my chest go away._

Before I could move, Edward had picked me up and placed me on my bed, I pushed myself underneath my comforter, pulling it over my head.

"Goodnight Bella." Edward whispered.

_H__e must of got the hint, instead of climbing into bed with me, I heard him settle into the chair in the corner of my room. I'd rather her wasn't here at all, but the distance is enough._

I began to drift off, sniffling and sobbing, until I fell asleep.


End file.
